Son: Mommy, why haven't the sharks ripped those other fish apart?
–New York Aquarium, Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Alex Remnick
Little girl: Mommy! Mommy! I can see…
MILF, rummaging in beach bag: Calm down, sweetie. Take a deep breath and tell me exactly what you see.
Little girl: I can see… your… bagina.
–Penscola Beach, Florida
Little girl: Mommy! What is that?
Mother: Careful, honey, that’s a crab.
Little girl: Is that the same thing you said Aunt Kathy had last year?
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Biel
Mom: You’re drunk!
Daughter: Relax, Mom, it’s not like they’re going to let me drive the boat.
–Cruise ship, Bahamas
Kid: Mom, how come the birds are wrestling each other?
Mom: They hate each other, that’s why.
–Children’s Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I know why the caged bird sings
Six-year-old to mother: A big wave just came and knocked me down and carried me away and some lady helped me up.
Mother: Why didn't your father help you up?
Six-year-old, in sneering voice: Cuz he was too busy going “hahahahaha!”
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: just the Aunt
Mom to young son sliding down wooden handrail: Charlie! Did someone get a splinter in his butt?
–Melbourne Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Sarabeth and Jesse
Pissed off mom to crying sons: You're goddamned right, we're leaving and we're never coming back!
–Rye Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre
Teenage son: Mom, did dad ever kiss me? Like when I was little?
Mom: Your dad kissed you.
Teenage son: Yeah, but did he ever kiss me on the lips?
Mom: I'm not sure what you're asking.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
Overheard by: Ann
