Moms

Four-year-old girl, dropping cracker on the floor: Oh, shit!
Mother: Um…no, honey. Not here.

–Steamship Authority Martha's Vineyard Ferry, Massachusetts

Whiny little boy: Mo-ooom, it’s hot!
Mom: Stop that! Whining makes you hot.

–Isle of Palms, South Carolina

Overheard by: Laura and John

Mother to five-year-old son: If anything happens get help from a lifeguard. Mommy's gonna be at the bar.

–Blizzard Beach, Disney World, Florida

20-Something daughter: Dad! Hurry up and take the picture; mom’s pressing her boobs into my back!
Mom: I’m sorry! You suckled from these boobs, you know.
20-Something daughter: Well, clearly I quit for a reason.
Dad: Yeah. Because you were too tired of fighting me for them.

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Kate

Mom: I don’t think we can stay at this hotel the whole time.
Daughter: Why? What’s wrong? It’s not that bad…
Mom: No, there’s just so many Mexicans at the pool.
Daughter: We’re in Mexico, mother!

–Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Teenage girl in expensive yoga pants to meek mother: Move to France? Why the hell would I move to France? That's the dumbest thing I've heard you say in, like, forever. Stop trying to live your, like, stupid dreams and stuff through me!

–Coffee Shop in the Beach, Toronto, Canadia

Mom: Honey, what are you doing?
Daughter: Going under the umbrella, because I don’t want my butt to get parched.

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: Kara

Mother: Will you please stop whining?
Small boy: Shut up, Mommy.

–Martell’s Tiki Bar, Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Trystan

Lifeguard to wading mother: That girl is too small. She can't be out that far. She has to be within arm's length.
Mother: How far is arm's length?

–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia

Overheard by: hefferlump

Mom: Hey! Tell them the new teenager attitude sound.
Uncle: Pfft.
Girl #1: Yeah, that’s spelled P-F-F-T.
Girl #2: Doesn’t it have, like, an ‘H’ in it or something? Like P-H-F-F-T?
Uncle: You don’t even have to have the ‘T’ in it. You could definitely go without the ‘T.’

–Inverhuron, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: sun-fried brain