Mom to 10-year-old son after he shakes sandy blanket in her face: You little fucker. I am going to fucking drown you in the ocean!
–Clearwater, Florida
Mom to 10-year-old son after he shakes sandy blanket in her face: You little fucker. I am going to fucking drown you in the ocean!
–Clearwater, Florida
Little girl, screaming to mother on an excruciatingly hot day: Mommy, my eyes are sweating!
–Coney Island Beach, New York
Little boy: Mom, Jewish people are from the desert, right?
Mom: Yeah.
Little boy: So why are they in Miami?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with water, though.
Little boy: Oh. What about black people?
Mom: Sweetie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m healing the world.
–Miami, Florida
Father to 14-month-old daughter: Can daddy get a table dance?”
(toddler starts to bounce up and down)
Mother, taking daughter from father's arms: No, because she wants to give her mama a lap dance!
Disgusted uncle: This is so wrong on so many levels…
–Doheny State Beach, Dana Point, California
Overheard by: Glad I'm related by marriage
Father to 14-month-old daughter: Can daddy get a table dance?”
(toddler starts to bounce up and down)
Mother, taking daughter from father's arms: No, because she wants to give her mama a lap dance!
Disgusted uncle: This is so wrong on so many levels…
–Doheny State Beach, Dana Point, California
Overheard by: Glad I'm related by marriage
Mom: You cut your finger on a Cheetoh?
–Hotel pool, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Little girl: Mommy! Mommy! I can see…
MILF, rummaging in beach bag: Calm down, sweetie. Take a deep breath and tell me exactly what you see.
Little girl: I can see… your… bagina.
–Penscola Beach, Florida
Little girl: Mommy! What is that?
Mother: Careful, honey, that’s a crab.
Little girl: Is that the same thing you said Aunt Kathy had last year?
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Biel
Mom: You’re drunk!
Daughter: Relax, Mom, it’s not like they’re going to let me drive the boat.
–Cruise ship, Bahamas
