Mom to three-year-old boy: Don’t you run into the ocean. It’s cold. If you start drowning, no one is going to want to come in and save you!
–Topsail Island, North Carolina
Overheard by: Eric
Mom to three-year-old boy: Don’t you run into the ocean. It’s cold. If you start drowning, no one is going to want to come in and save you!
–Topsail Island, North Carolina
Overheard by: Eric
20-something daughter: She’s 23.
Middle-aged mom: Well, if she ain’t married yet, she ain’t never gonna be.
–Daytona, Florida
Overheard by: MAGICALLY engaged at 36
Cute Jewish on cell, to mother: Are you calling me just to fucking nag? Cuz if you are, I am hanging up. (pause) I don't know, I'm going to do what every Jew does on Christmas, go to the movies and eat Chinese food!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Mother to father: Oh my! Jerry, say something to that old man. His testicles are hanging out of his swimsuit.
Little girl: I have testicles. They’re in my mouth. [Opens mouth]Mother: Not tonsils. Testicles!
Father: Seven, and already MTV has ruined her.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Book Reading Beach Bum
Little boy pointing to black woman: Look, Mom! It’s a chocolate lady!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Jane
Little boy, pointing to large drawing of a penis in the sand: Oh my God, that is disgusting. Dad, look, it’s disgusting!! Dad, do you know what it is?
Dad: Yes.
Mom walks over.
Mom: What is it?
–Popham Beach, Maine
Overheard by: Fitzy
Daughter to mother: You yell at me for saying ‘munted,’ ‘fucked,’ ‘wasted,’ and ‘shafted,’ because you say they all mean ‘having sex.’ So for the love of god, when you tell that story will you stop saying you were ‘stiffed’ by an old lady?!
–New Zealand
Toddler: Mom, we are the hermit crabs that are going to change the world.
–Monterey, California
Boy being changed on changing table (babbling): Bama amma bama.
Mother: Obama Obama Obama.
–Restroom, Royal Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Penelope
