Girl: Mummy, do you have a hairy pee?
Mummy: Make sure you never ask that again, especially when we have guests over for dinner.
–Manly Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: ohgodhaha
15-year-old to mother and sister: Two for the pink, one for the stink.
Mother, laughing: Who taught you that?
15-year-old: Dad.
–Boat in Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii
Overheard by: Pro Forced Sterilization
Mother: Danny, go ask those people for a lighter.
Son: Why, Mom?
Mother: So I can light my smoke, baby.
Son: I’m not your baby, and no! They are strange.
Mother: I’ll give you ten bucks.
Son: Okay!
–Shark’s Cove, Oahu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Hope
Teen girl with hands on stomach: Why do skinny girls get the bloat?
Mom: Is that what you call it?
–Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Blanket Once Removed
Mom to 13-year-old son: What the hell is wrong with you? Were you born this stupid?
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
Chubby eight-year-old boy, walking and kicking sand up with his feet: Woah! Ma! Look at this! They've even got real sand here!
Exasperated mom, clutching French fries: No shit! It's real sand! Buying fake sand would be dumb. Everyone would steal it.
–The Bahamas
Overheard by: Fake sand maker
Underage girl: Oh, my God. Look at that guy. He’s so fucking hot.
Bartender, sarcastically: Oooh, nice. Maybe if you show him your boobs, he’ll buy you a drink?
Underage girl: You think so?
Mom: No way. You’re as flat as a surfboard. If you want that guy to buy you a drink, you’d have to do a lot more than show him your boobs.
–The Seafood Bar, The Breakers, Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: The JAP
Mom whispering to little boy: Go in the water where nobody can see.
Little boy digs a hole, fills it with water, and pees.
–Vero Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nick
Black kid: Damn, I lost my pants.
Mom: Word?
–Belmar, New Jersey
