Mom’s Backup Plan was to Pretend to Drown

Girl: Am I going to have big boobs?
Flat‐chested mom: Um, probably not.
Girl: But boys like big boobs!
Flat‐chested mom: Only dumb boys do, because only dumb girls have big boobs.
Girl, after thinking for a minute: Grandma has huge ones.
Flat‐chested mom: Oooh, look at the pretty birds!

–Panama City Beach, Florida