Little boy to mom: Don’t touch me! Only Daddy can touch me. [Mom picks boy up.] I’m going to make Daddy spank you right on your bottom!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
10-year-old boy to younger sister: Did you get a tramp stamp?
–Pt. Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Kim
Six-year-old girl: Hey! Don't throw sand at me! How would you like it if I threw sand at you? Huh?
Six-year-old boy: Go ahead, I dare you. I wouldn't care, I like the sand. I'll lay down in it right now if you want. Now shut up, and keep digging.
–Fairfield Beach, Ohio
Overheard by: SHU friends
Little boy, looking at large man: I thought only girls had those.
–Florida
Overheard by: Northern Lad
Kid: Mom, how come the birds are wrestling each other?
Mom: They hate each other, that’s why.
–Children’s Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I know why the caged bird sings
Nine-year-old boy #1 (yelling): My penis! My penis just closed!
(pause)
Nine-year-old boy #2 (yelling): Cool!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Chandler Smith
Six-year-old to mother: A big wave just came and knocked me down and carried me away and some lady helped me up.
Mother: Why didn't your father help you up?
Six-year-old, in sneering voice: Cuz he was too busy going “hahahahaha!”
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: just the Aunt
Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I'm not the only one with crab problems.
–Jones Beach, New York
