Kids

Four-year-old girl: Daddy! Why did you knock over my sandcastle?!
Dad: Because you knocked over my sandcastle first.
(dad coolly turns to two-year-old son and begins playing with him)
Four-year-old girl, in hysterics: Daddy! I'm so angry at you!
Mom: Good honey, you're expressing your feelings really well.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Little boy pointing to black woman: Look, Mom! It’s a chocolate lady!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Jane

Little girl to boy: Guess what?
Boy: What?
Girl: I'm in George's hole!

–Diggers Beach, Australia

Overheard by: Maddy

Five-year-old girl looking at dead jellyfish: I wonder what flavor jelly it likes…

–Atlantic City, New Jersey

Overheard by: jared

Small girl: I want to see a penis.
Father: What?
Small girl: Mommy said we go to the beach to see lots of penises because there are none at home.

–Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Total Observer

Little boy, pointing to large drawing of a penis in the sand: Oh my God, that is disgusting. Dad, look, it’s disgusting!! Dad, do you know what it is?
Dad: Yes.

Mom walks over.

Mom: What is it?

–Popham Beach, Maine

Overheard by: Fitzy

Dad: It’s all about the Benjamins?
Son: Who’s Benjamin?
Dad: He’s the president on the hundred dollar bill. He was the third president of the United States. You’d know that if you were in private school like I was.

–Zuma Beach, Malibu, California

Overheard by: Danielle

Kid preparing to bodysurf a big wave: Look! I’m a bigwig!

–Misquamicut Beach, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Steve

Teen girl: He saw some girl’s boobs.
Father: Did you see some girl’s boobs?
Toddler boy: Nooo.
Father: Did you see some girl’s boobs?
Toddler boy: Nooo.
Father: Were they as big as Grandma’s?
Toddler boy: Nooo.

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: hc

Toddler: Mom, we are the hermit crabs that are going to change the world.

–Monterey, California