Little girl: Lifeguard! Lifeguard! What do crabs eat?
Lifeguard: Little girls.
–Riis Park, New York
Little girl: Lifeguard! Lifeguard! What do crabs eat?
Lifeguard: Little girls.
–Riis Park, New York
Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: I'll never swim again
Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: I'll never swim again
Kid: Mom, we get two months off for school this summer right?
Mom: No, you get like eight weeks.
Kid: Oh, okay.
–Ocean Beach, California
Overheard by: Stephanie
Hot teen girl #1: Sexy llama come to mama. (throws imaginary lasso)
Hot teen girl #2 (caught in the imaginary lasso): Unce unce unce unce…yes.
Random lady to son nearby: See honey, this is why we don't eat magical mushrooms.
–Rehoboth Beach, Deleware
Overheard by: kevin
Mom telling young son to hold her hand: I just love you so much I can’t let go.
Little boy: You don’t have to love me that much.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: local onlooker
Little boy running down the beach: Mother nature's gone all wrong!
–Santa Monica Beach, California
Overheard by: LilRedSeaglass
Little boy pointing to portabella mushroom: Mommy, what’s that?
Tired mother: It’s a mushroom. Someday I’m going to make you a hamburger for dinner, but instead of meat, it’s going to have one of those mushrooms in it.
Little boy looking back at mushroom, terrified: Why would you do that?!
–Beachside Produce Plus, Melbourne Beach, Florida
Little boy with faux tattoo heading to wading pool: Hey, let’s all get in the pool and get naked!
Little girl: With you? Ewww!
–Sea Colony, Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: RexGee
Mother to young child: Do you hear the ship, honey?
Child: No, mommy, I don't.
Mother: Do you feel the ship moving?
Child: Yes! I feel my shit moving.
–Carnival Freedom Cruise, Caribbean Sea
Overheard by: InTheNextStall
