Little boy: Ew, dad! Look! Dog poo!
Father: No, I think that's bat poo.
Little boy: Batman's poo?
–Byron Bay, Australia
Little boy: Ew, dad! Look! Dog poo!
Father: No, I think that's bat poo.
Little boy: Batman's poo?
–Byron Bay, Australia
Kid, looking out at the Atlantic ocean: Is that the ocean?
Dad: I think it's one of the great lakes.
–Boardwalk, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Son: These are pretty good.
Dad: Yeah, they’re not bad if you soak them in your mouth like sausage.
–Nauset Light Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith
Mom, pushing crying three-year-old: You cannot cry here! Wait till we get back to New York, where it s snowing, to cry!
–Isla Verde, San Juan, Puerto Rico
Overheard by: i wanna cry too!
Boy: Good looks!
Girl: Good looks?
Boy: Yeah, that’s what black people say.
–Rockaway Beach, Queens, New York
Overheard by: Sparky
Little girl, pointing at a couple making out: Hey! Look, daddy! We have to stop and stare now.
Dad: Shh! No, sweetie. What they are doing is rude, but staring is rude too.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it’s too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?
–Goleta Beach, California
Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it’s too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?
–Goleta Beach, California
Little girl: Lifeguard! Lifeguard! What do crabs eat?
Lifeguard: Little girls.
–Riis Park, New York
Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: I'll never swim again
