Kids

Mother to child, as they leave the beach: You're like walkin', talkin' birth control.

–Brownie Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Erin Christey

Chick: So, you live in the city? Wow, where do you live, downtown?
Thug kid: Yeah, downtown… Well, not exactly downtown. Harlem.

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: alison

Little girl: Mommy, where’s the rest of your bathing suit?
Mother: It’s called a ‘thong,’ honey.
Little girl: Like that song?
Mother: Yes, honey, just like the song.

Little girl hums ‘Thong Song.’

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Little girl: Mommy, where’s the rest of your bathing suit?
Mother: It’s called a ‘thong,’ honey.
Little girl: Like that song?
Mother: Yes, honey, just like the song.

Little girl hums ‘Thong Song.’

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Little girl: Mommy! I caught a wave!
Mother: Did you catch any trash?

–Brighton Beach, New York

Little boy: Why is that woman walking faster than us?
Grandfather (frustrated): I have no explanation for this!

–Sauble Beach, Canadia

Overheard by: Totally walking faster than them

Four-year-old girl squatting over sand castle: Look, Mommy, I’m peeing! Look, Mommy, it’s a toilet!

–Isle of Palms, South Carolina

Little girl: Mommy, is this Lake Michigan?
Mom: Yes, honey.
Little girl: Then why doesn't it look like this in Chicago?

–Petoskey, Michigan

Young boy: Don't fire the rocket launcher until I can go and get it! I'm already down to my third layer of skin, cuz the rest of it burned off!

–Newport Beach, California

Overheard by: Narwhal

Father: No, you can’t go in there. There’s a bar, and it’s over 21.

Little boy standing in front of café stares at father.

Father: Quick, get away from the door before you set off the alarm!

–Duck, Outer Banks, North Carolina