Kids

Granddaughter: Did you have fun in Hong Kong?
Grandma: Well, yes, there was a lot of Asian food.
Grandpa: And the people were all shorter than you!
Granddaughter: Really…

–Jetty Road, Glenelg, Australia

Guy #1: Nice tie.
Guy #2: Yeah, I got it from a relative.
Little girl: No, you didn’t, Daddy. You got it from me.

–White Rock Beach, British Columbia, Canadia

Overheard by: Dan-Mission, B.C.

Guido mom to small boy holding a horseshoe crab: Eww! What is that?
Random Guido: Is it a stingray?
Guido mom: Do stingrays even live in the ocean?

–Belmar, New Jersey

Guido mom to small boy holding a horseshoe crab: Eww! What is that?
Random Guido: Is it a stingray?
Guido mom: Do stingrays even live in the ocean?

–Belmar, New Jersey

Little boy with ice cream: They gonna manhandle me!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Audrey

Seven-year-old: Dude, your sister needs hotter friends.
Friend: Well, there's the blond one.
Seven-year-old: What's her name?
Friend: I forget.
Seven-year-old: Dude! If they're hot, you remember their names!

–Ocean Beach, New Jersey

Band kid to another: It was both gay and funny, like Jesus and Fergie combined.

–Palm Coast, Florida

Overheard by: Dahbuke

Band kid to another: It was both gay and funny, like Jesus and Fergie combined.

–Palm Coast, Florida

Overheard by: Dahbuke

Eight-year-old boy: … So I whipped out my peanut and had sex with the sheets…

–Near the Steeplechase, Coney Island Beach, New York

Overheard by: beach soccer bum

Mom to young child eating a Popsicle: Stop putting that in your mouth! It's done, there's nothing left.
Young woman nearby: That's what he said.

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Overheard by: Tara