Middle aged tourist yelling frantically to children in the water: Get out, get out! There’s sharks!
Teenager with skimboard: Actually, those are a school of stingrays. They’re quite harmle…
Middle age mother, cutting him off: Shaaarks! Get out now!

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Jonica Grompson

Little city boy chasing seagull on the beach: Come here, you flying chicken!
Mom: That is not a chicken, that is a pigeon or something!
Little boy: I said come here, come here, you chicken head!

–Seaside, Oregon

Seven‐year‐old boy: Dad! Dad! Dad! It’s time to go back to the room. I need to put on underwear — I’m starting to chafe!
Dad: Good for you. Now go back out there and deal [continues smoking his cigar].

–21st Street Beach, Ocean City, Maryland

Young Boy: Mommy Mommy, they have Nemo in that fish tank!
Mom: Honey, Nemo’s dead.

–Antigua, the Caribbean

Overheard by: Ollie

Little boy: I can’t believe we went under. I still have that taste in my mouth!
Dad: Get used to it. You’ll be tasting that your whole life.

–Horseneck Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Kp & Cd

Young boy: Your uncle peed on Mikey last night!

–Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California

Little boy: Was that lady a ‘he’ or a ‘she’?

–Hilo, Hawaii

Overheard by: Gwen

Boy: Hey, Dad, are monkeys fast?
Dad: I guess compared to humans, yes.
Boy: Are cheetahs fast?
Dad: Yes, they are the fastest.
Boy: Are lions fast?
Dad: Yes, very.
Boy: Are bamboozles fast?
Dad: What?

–Trunk Bay, St. John, US Virgin Islands

Overheard by: Sonia

Four‐year‐old girl (disappointed, looking at a jellyfish): I’ve never seen one of these before…but I thought it would be longer.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: I Was Surprised Too

Little girl: Daddy! Guess what I am supposed to be!
Dad: You are a crab.
Little girl: Right! Okay, Daddy, now it’s your turn.

Dad sits there, talking to his wife.

Little girl: Daddy! You are supposed to be something!
Dad: I am. I am being a cool guy.

–Horseshoe Bay Ferry Terminal, Vancouver, Canadia