Kids

Little boy with ice cream: They gonna manhandle me!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Audrey

Seven-year-old: Dude, your sister needs hotter friends.
Friend: Well, there's the blond one.
Seven-year-old: What's her name?
Friend: I forget.
Seven-year-old: Dude! If they're hot, you remember their names!

–Ocean Beach, New Jersey

Band kid to another: It was both gay and funny, like Jesus and Fergie combined.

–Palm Coast, Florida

Overheard by: Dahbuke

Band kid to another: It was both gay and funny, like Jesus and Fergie combined.

–Palm Coast, Florida

Overheard by: Dahbuke

Eight-year-old boy: … So I whipped out my peanut and had sex with the sheets…

–Near the Steeplechase, Coney Island Beach, New York

Overheard by: beach soccer bum

Mom to young child eating a Popsicle: Stop putting that in your mouth! It's done, there's nothing left.
Young woman nearby: That's what he said.

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Overheard by: Tara

Hyper seven-year-old: Sit!
Frazzled mother: Who are you talking to?
Hyper seven-year-old, matter-of-factly: Myself.

–Taco Bell, Deerfield Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Kiwi

Kid in wave pool, to friend: No, you gotta jump up into the waves. Jump! Jump! No, jump up, not down!

–Splish Splash, Long Island, New York

Adult son to mom: Thanks for babysitting the kids, ma. You know why I love you?
Rockin granny: Cuz I breastfed you for 12 years?
Ten year old grandson: Oh my god!

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Four-year-old girl, playing with bucket in sand: Come play with us!
Four-year-old boy, barely looking up from his inflatable mattress: No, I’m working on my tan.

–Waikiki, Hawaii