Kids

Tattooed dad to two-year-old daughter struggling to get on tricycle: Remember, sweetie, always get on from the left so you don't burn yourself on the exhaust pipe.

–Playground, Alameda, California

Overheard by: lith

Little girl: I’m Italian, so I don’t get sick.

–Mashpee, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Jill

Tween girls: Mami, Mami, we saw shit floating in the water!
Mother: God, the sea is so big, just play somewhere else.

–Ibiza, Spain

Overheard by: thorsten

Little girl: Are you a mom? You look like a mom.
College student: No. How old do you think I am?
Little girl: Fifteen?

–Palm City, Florida

Overheard by: MBD

Mom: Don’t hurt that butterfly!
Son: Why?
Mom: Because if you’re mean to nature, nature will be mean to you.
Son: Oh.

–Markin Glen County Park, Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: julie

White trash 7 year old, chasing seagulls: Varmits! Get away, you varmits!
Man: Does she mean varmints?
Woman: She’s from Indiana. That 10 year old next to her who is throwing the shovel at the seagulls is probably her mother.

–Indiana Dunes National Park

Young boy to father: Dad, do you know those girls?
Father: No!
Young boy: Oh, 'cause you keep staring at them…

–Lake McConaughy, Nebraska

Ten year old boy, flipping over on towel: Man, I'm sweating like a fat chick!

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre

Five-year old boy whining to dad: Let’s go boogie-board.
Dad: No! You know my nipples get raw if I go without a shirt on…

–Newport Beach, California

Overheard by: Lilian

Dad to kid: You guys want to rent a canoe?
Kid: Canoe!? That's super hard, even on the Wii, much less in real water!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: caveman