Guys

40-something guy: That must be like an all-you-can-eat salad bar of STDs!
60-something guy: She’s a twin.

–Pancake House, Redondo Beach, California

Girl: Let's eat here, it's better value.
Boy: More satisfying?
Girl: No. What satisfies me, they don't sell here.

–Sushi Bar, Gold Coast, Australia

Old fisherman: Don't be tanglin' your lines up with mine, son!
Younger fisherman: You want a beer?
Old fisherman: I saw a UFO fly right under that bridge one time.
Younger fisherman: You need a haircut.

–Creaky Dock, Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Sandy Paws

Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve-year-old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm…
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That’s Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I’m from Minnesota.

–Virginia Beach

Guy: Fuckin' Wonka?
Girl, watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: Yeah man, the orig.

–Dundas, Canadia

Dude #1: I wish she would just forgive me already. It’s been over a month.
Dude #2: Dude, you went down on her sister!
Dude #1: Well, yeah, exactly. It’s like the same pussy, right?

–Jacksonville Beach, Florida

Guy on cell: I don't know, it may just be the chlamydia talking, though.

–Destin, Florida

Tanned man #1: Look at those fags over there!
Tanned man #2: Which ones?
Tanned man #1: The two over there, sitting with those four hot girls with the fine asses, big tits, and tiny bikinis.
Tanned man #2: Wait. You and I are alone. Those two guys have two girls each. Sounds like we’re the fags.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: D Meyers

Sunbathing guy: You know what sucks? Thinking you're more tan than you actually are.

–Ocean City, Maryland

14-year-old boy, looking at tide chart: Dude, I don’t get it! High tide is at 9:55 p.m., but this place closes at eight!

–Crescent Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Kevin and Elissa