Drunk chick on raft: Hey, Mike*, would you love Kelly* more if she did a beer funnel?
Mike*, on another raft: We're married. I don't have to love her at all.
–Rafting Down Delaware River
Overheard by: twoferrets
Drunk chick on raft: Hey, Mike*, would you love Kelly* more if she did a beer funnel?
Mike*, on another raft: We're married. I don't have to love her at all.
–Rafting Down Delaware River
Overheard by: twoferrets
Man on a bike, on cell: Is this where you become an evil bitch?
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ilyse
Dude #1: That girl is hot!
Dude #2: I’d like to duct tape her to a chair!
Dude #2’s girlfriend: You’re into that?
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Greek man: You are so white! Why are you so white?
Pale girl: I’m from England.
–Stalis, Crete
Overheard by: Another pale girl
Girl to boy: Damn, look at those calluses on your hands! Do you masturbate with sandpaper or something?
–Tampa, Florida
Girl: If I use cooking oil, do you think I’ll tan twice as fast?
Boy: No, but you’ll probably smell like bacon.
–Corolla, Outer Banks, North Carolina
Overheard by: Mandy
Guy at table full of intently listening people: Imagine 50 pounds of animal defecating inside your house! That's a lot of shit!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Magician to middle-aged woman: Put your pointer fingers out, and point them about five inches apart. (woman does, but it looks more like three inches) I don't know what guy told you that was 5 inches…
–Carnival Valor, Caribbean Sea
Little sister: Bury me! Bury me!
Big brother: No, I can’t marry you. That’d be disgusting.
Little sister: BURY me!
Big brother: No, no, I can’t marry you! Stop it!
Little sister: I said BURY me, stupid!
–Orchard Beach, New York
Overheard by: Anais Borg-Marks
20-something male, chasing after another with driftwood: Go back to the sea from whence you came!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
