Food

Drunk girl: Wow, those cookies are sooo big! How do they do that?

–Highway 98 East, Destin, Florida

Overheard by: restaurant bitch

Asian guy: We should get some fish and chips.
Asian girl: Ooh, I love tartar sauce. It’s my favorite continent.
Asian guy: What?

–Steveston Pier, Richmond, British Columbia

50-something woman: I want the tiramisu for my birthday cake!
Husband: Well, the restaurant says they only have individual portions, not a big thing. That would be expensive for eleven people.
50-something woman: Well, I don't want the key lime pie, that's fifth on a list of five options.
20-something woman #1: Well, why don't we get a pie for everyone else, and a tiramisu for you?
50-something woman: I want everyone to eat what I'm eating in commemoration of my birthday!
20-something woman #2: Oh my god. I'm leaving.

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Audrey

Over-tanned lady to beach bum eating plum: I would rather drink shower water than eat unwashed fruit.

–Ala Moana Center, Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Jade Buddha

Young male Australian tourist on cell: We've already been to a service station and a McDonald's, which is different.

–Rotorua, New Zealand

Overheard by: exactly how different to McDonald's in Australia?

Vendor: Hey, buy some pizza!
Chick: I don’t like bread.
Vendor: Then just eat the cheese!
Chick: I’m lactose-intolerant.
Vendor: Fro-zen yo-gurt!

–Venice Beach, California

20-something girl: We can't make Eric a “sorry you got raped” cake anymore.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Brother: I was talking to that couple from Montana, and they said they eat cattails.
Sister: I thought they were vegetarians.

–Puno, Peru

Overheard by: 451

Older guy: We had dinner there earlier in the week. I got food poisoning.
Young kayaking guide: Really? Was it good?

–York Beach, Maine

Mother to screaming child throwing sachets of sugar: Do that again and you won't get a babycino.

–Café, Bondi Beach, Australia

Overheard by: GGary