Puerto Rican princess: Hey! Hey, you – Mr. Captain or whatever.
Steward: Yes, ma’am?
Puerto Rican princess: Does this elevator go to the front of the ship?
Steward: Excuse me?
Puerto Rican princess: Where is the elevator that goes to the front of the ship?
Random passenger: Someone throw her overboard now and put her out of my misery.
–Caribbean Cruise, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: also waiting for elevator
Man: Honey, I don’t think this off-board thing is very safe.
Wife: Why not?
Man: There are so many Mexicans here…
Wife: We’re in fuckin’ Mexico!
–Mexican cruise
Overheard by: Lydia
College chick eating chocolate rice pudding: It kinda looks like poop, but it’s so yummy!
Drunk girl: Don’t eat poop. It’s not good for you.
–Majesty of the Seas cruise ship
Mother to young child: Do you hear the ship, honey?
Child: No, mommy, I don't.
Mother: Do you feel the ship moving?
Child: Yes! I feel my shit moving.
–Carnival Freedom Cruise, Caribbean Sea
Overheard by: InTheNextStall
Teen girl having dinner: Ew! Escargot has snails!
–Carnival Cruise Ship
Overheard by: Alix
American female tourist #1: So what did you say your favorite condoment was ?
American female tourist #2: Trojans!
American male tourist: You kiddin … Mine is Europe, every time!
–Holland America Cruise, Mediterrean Sea
Overheard by: Vennfix
Passenger: Excuse me, sir, but does that staircase go up or down?
Crew member: Yes.
–Boarding a cruise ship
