Feelings

Movie critic #1: You know that movie, with Tom Hanks, where he plays the drunk baseball player? And the women are the players because the men are gone?
Movie critic #2: Where?
Movie critic #3: To war.
Movie critic #2: So the women played baseball? That wasn’t a movie.
Movie critic #1: You know, the movie has that star that’s on TV. Bette Davis’ daughter.
Movie critic #3: Who?

Debate goes on for several minutes.

Movie critic #1: Wait, it’s Geena Davis! She’s Betty Davis’ daughter! See the resemblence in the eyes?
Movie critic #3: Didn’t Betty Davis hate Geena because she was tall?
Movie critic #1: Well, she got the part anyway, didn’t she? Geesh, I wish I could remember the name of that movie!

–Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts

Drunk hobo to group of gay guys: That's why I love South Beach. It's gay, gay, gay!

–Lincoln Road, Florida

Overheard by: David

Teenage girl: I know, he has the most beautiful eyes and this insanely hot body and I'm sad because his girlfriend has this really big forehead!

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: sara swank

Mom, pushing crying three-year-old: You cannot cry here! Wait till we get back to New York, where it s snowing, to cry!

–Isla Verde, San Juan, Puerto Rico

Overheard by: i wanna cry too!

Nagging mother to adult daughter, after sniping at her all afternoon: Your best attribute used to be your personality. But with the life you lead, now it's dead.
Adult daughter's husband, without looking up from newspaper: It's not dead, it's just asleep.

–Maguire's Landing, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: oysterwoman

Guy #1: The only problem I have with [my Blackberry] is when I have to type in French.
Guy #2: Oh. My problem with typing in French is that I hate everyone that I’m addressing.

–Jones Beach, New York

50-something to friend: I've been married so long I can row a boat with a rope.

–Horseshoe Beach, Florida

White college girl: Every time I see them, I'm like, “Asians!” and they're like, “whitey!”

–Long Beach, California

White college girl: Every time I see them, I'm like, “Asians!” and they're like, “whitey!”

–Long Beach, California

Atheist: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear … ” (pause) Wow! I have no idea where that came from.
Bible-lover: Actually it's from the Bible: John, chapter 4, verse 18.
Atheist: Oh, fuck! Man…

–Hanover Beach, Indiana

Overheard by: triz3en