Little girl: I’m gonna… I’m gonna cut off your head with a knife!
Mother, shocked: Where did you hear that kind of language?!
Little girl: Ummm, I don’t know…
Mother: You must have heard it somewhere!
Little girl: I made it up! … Is pepperoni meat?
Mother: Yes.
–Oceanside, California
Overheard by: kafrin
Salty sea dog: And the new LED Christmas lights? They’ll never burn down your Christmas tree. You’ll have to do that yourself.
–Morro Bay, California
Overheard by: Colin
Blond waitress to patron: I’m like one of those, you know. The kind that don’t make mistakes.
–Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California
Teenage surfer to dad: You're too old to get high!
–La Jolla, California
Guy #1: I’ve been married for eleven years. My wife and I are always looking for ways to keep our relationship fresh.
Girl: I’ve heard having sex in different rooms of the house helps that.
Guy #2: My wife and I just have sex with different people.
–Santa Monica Pier, California
Girl #1, approaching girl #2: Um, you should work on your self-esteem more.
Girl #2: What? Who are you?
Girl #1: Take your shorts off. You’re gonna get an ugly tan line.
Girl #2: I’m okay with that, thank you.
Girl #1: What do you care if you are fat? Love yourself!
Girl #2: Fuck off! Who asked your opinion? Who are you?
Girl #1: Hey, can I bum a cigarette?
–Topanga State Beach, Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Freaked Out By CA Chicks
Old lady #1: You don’t see so much sea glass anymore.
Old lady #2: Yeah, people don’t litter like they used to.
Old lady #1: That’s getting to be a real problem, isn’t it?
–Montara Beach, California
Overheard by: comber
Woman, noticing fly on her arm: No, you cannot land on me!
–Huntington Beach, California
Girl #1: You know what would feel really good?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: If you jizzed on my back.
–Oceanside Beach, California
Bedraggled female peddler to another: Man, of all of the spots I've had here I've never seen so many lowlifes congregated around one place.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Gary & Nadja
