California

Teen girl to friend: If you don't stop, I will punch you in the tits.

–Pacifica, California

Drunk white guy: Girl, I love you. You remind me of my friends from Philly!
Sober black girl: Why? Cause I'm black?
Drunk white guy: Yes. (pause) I felt you deserved an honest answer!

–Port Hueneme, California

Overheard by: honesty is the best policy

Tween: The cute ones are not nice, the nice ones are not cute, and the cute & nice ones are gay.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Trixie

Teen: Fuck Hitler! Fuck Hitler! Fuck Hitler! … Fuck Hitler.

–Seacliff Beach, Santa Cruz, California

Southern lady looking at surfers in wetsuits: I never knew there were so many negro surfers!

–El Granada, California

Overheard by: davo

Surfer #1: I’m thinking about joining this race where you paddle out to Catalina.
Surfer #2: How do you get back?
Surfer #3: Might not come back.
Surfer #4: Heavy.

–Malibu, California

Overheard by: Brandon

Middle-aged lady #1: He keeps calling me on the cell phone telling me he’ll be right there and I’m like, ‘I’ve been waiting 25 years, I’m leaving!’
Middle-aged lady #2: And my poor granddaughter is there, and we’re all hugging on each other…

–Cabrillo Beach, California

Overheard by: confused

Girl #1: Oh my gawd, I love your new lips!
Girl #2: I was wondering when you’d notice! I like your flip flops.

–Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: Mana

Girl #1: I mean, why would he register as a Republican only to vote in the primary?
Girl #2: Ugh… Gross! You are not allowed to fuck a Republican!

–UCSD, California

Overheard by: Holiday

Dad: It’s all about the Benjamins?
Son: Who’s Benjamin?
Dad: He’s the president on the hundred dollar bill. He was the third president of the United States. You’d know that if you were in private school like I was.

–Zuma Beach, Malibu, California

Overheard by: Danielle