California

Guy #1: Eh, to be honest, with as much as I’ve been laid, I’ve probably got a kid somewhere.
Guy #2: You need to practice safe sex. Put it in her pooper.

–Pismo Beach, California

Overheard by: Walking by in disbelief

Girl #1: What's Obama's last name?
Girl #2: Umm… Barrack?

–Point Loma, California

Overheard by: Maya

Outraged hippie chick: Someone drew a pentagram in my Zen garden!

–Seal Beach, California

Frat boy: … And I don’t really know what happened! All of a sudden I was in an orgy… And you know what? It wasn’t even all that good.

–Pacific Beach, California

Tourist looking across bay: Is that Hawaii?
Passerby: Yeah. There’s a boat that comes by every half hour to bring people there.
Tourist: Thanks. Hey, honey! We’re going to Hawaii!

–Wharf, Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: El Blingo

20-something girl: Guys, did you see the man in the woman's swimsuit over there?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, yeah, I saw him…
20-something girl: He has man legs…
Teen girl #1: But from a distance he could totally pass as a flat chick.
20-something girl: He can really pull it off, too. He has the hat and the glasses and everything.
Teen girl #2: Where's the tranny man? I want to see the tranny man!

–La Jolla, California

Overheard by: La Jollan

Heavy sweaty chick, yelling across store at friends: My sweat smells like beer!

–Surf Shop, Laguna Beach, California

Excited teenage girl on cell: Dude, that’s so beat!

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Tim

Chick getting tattoo on her foot: That hurts!
Guy tattoo-ing her: It wouldn’t hurt so much if you weren’t wearing tie-dye.

–Ocean Beach, San Diego, California

French girl to flirty teenage boy: You are very cute, yes, but I am 23.
Teenage boy: Really?
French girl: Yes.
Teenage boy: Dammit.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Her American Cousin