Trendy Asian chick: I’ve seen a lot of transvestites in my day, but only one with a beard.
Old, well‐dressed Mexican man: He must have forgotten to shave.

–Newport Beach, California

Drunk dude: I like mescaline for breakfast, because then all day you see all kinds of different shit.

–Pacific Beach, California

Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing

Blonde #1: Are you wearing that sunscreen that tastes good?
Blonde #2: What?
Blonde #1: Your sunscreen smells really good. Is it the kind that tastes good?
Blonde #2: How do you know how sunscreen tastes?
Blonde #1: Oh, I’ll tell you later. 

–Natural Bridges, Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: just trying to get a tan

20‐something girl, talking about new guy she’s dating: Yeah, he’s kind of indie.
20‐something guy: So is his dick dark brown?
20‐something girl, after a long pause: Not Indian! Indie!

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Josh M.

Six‐year‐old girl (about book on Obama): That’s our new President!
Teen: Yeah, do you know what his name is?
Six‐year‐old girl: Martin Luther King!

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: tori

Girl #1: I don’t get it — I’m in a sweater and I’m cold, but you aren’t and you’re wearing a tank top?
Girl #2: That’s because I’m fat.
Girl #1: Oh… Well, at least you’re honest!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Leah

Activist #1: Hey girls, want to save the world together?
Girl #1: Ummmm…
Activist #2: Do you like our planet?
Girl #2: Eh, I’ve been to better. Thanks, but no thanks.

–Seal Beach, California

Ghetto black girl, about Lil Wayne: Nah, I wouldn’t fuck him, he too short!
Ghetto white girl: Shit, he short but I bet he know the motion of the ocean! You know he do! I’d let him in right in me, yeah I would!

–Santa Cruz, California

White guy to Asian girl made up like Thai hooker: Hey, are you waiting for me?

–Santa Monica Pier, California

Overheard by: Ann