Man: … So I just walked out of there with two heads of cabbages and a hand full of cash… And I walked up to him and said, ‘Give me that goat!’
–Restaurant, Mammoth, California
Man: … So I just walked out of there with two heads of cabbages and a hand full of cash… And I walked up to him and said, ‘Give me that goat!’
–Restaurant, Mammoth, California
Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it’s too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?
–Goleta Beach, California
Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it’s too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?
–Goleta Beach, California
Guy: It smells like pussy out here!
Girl: It smells like you’re gonna have to find someone else to give your ass a ride home.
–Bixby Knolls, Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Armando
Dude #1: So, I’m up for this reality show…
Dude #2: Hey, congratulations!
Dude #1: But in this contract they want me to sign it says, ‘We reserve the right to use any footage that embarrasses, humiliates, defames, or otherwise ruins your fucking life.’ I’m not signing that shit.
–West Hollywood, California
White college girl: Every time I see them, I’m like, “Asians!” and they’re like, “whitey!”
–Long Beach, California
White college girl: Every time I see them, I’m like, “Asians!” and they’re like, “whitey!”
–Long Beach, California
Yuppie #1, trying to take over occupied bonfire: It’s okay — we just have to wait for them to light themselves on fire.
Yuppie #2: Yeah, it’s like evolution.
–Dockweiler Beach, California
Guy #1: What happened to the girl you were seeing in Phoenix?
Guy #2: She broke up with me because I had too much baggage.
Guy #3: Wait! Was that the anorexic/bulimic with depression that was hooked on painkillers and ecstasy?
Guy #2: Yep.
Guy #1: You ever fuck her while she threw up?
Guy #2: You’re a sick fuck. (long pause) Yeah.
Guy #3: There is so much wrong with this conversation.
–Pacific Beach, California
Kid: Mom, we get two months off for school this summer right?
Mom: No, you get like eight weeks.
Kid: Oh, okay.
–Ocean Beach, California
Overheard by: Stephanie
