California

Middle-aged lady #1: He keeps calling me on the cell phone telling me he’ll be right there and I’m like, ‘I’ve been waiting 25 years, I’m leaving!’
Middle-aged lady #2: And my poor granddaughter is there, and we’re all hugging on each other…

–Cabrillo Beach, California

Overheard by: confused

Girl #1: Oh my gawd, I love your new lips!
Girl #2: I was wondering when you’d notice! I like your flip flops.

–Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: Mana

Girl #1: I mean, why would he register as a Republican only to vote in the primary?
Girl #2: Ugh… Gross! You are not allowed to fuck a Republican!

–UCSD, California

Overheard by: Holiday

Dad: It’s all about the Benjamins?
Son: Who’s Benjamin?
Dad: He’s the president on the hundred dollar bill. He was the third president of the United States. You’d know that if you were in private school like I was.

–Zuma Beach, Malibu, California

Overheard by: Danielle

Rented Segway guy with a helmet to another: You feel really cool, but you don't *look* really cool.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: byrneout

Man, ranting: …and then there's the fucking chicken!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: I always have that problem…

Drunk man: [Bumps into girl and puts his hand around her to move her aside.] Sorry.
Girl: Eww! You’re dirty!
Drunk man: C’mon, you know you like it!
Girl: Eww! [Drunk man walks away.] Call me!!

–Manhattan Beach, California

Overheard by: Snoog

Hobo: Happy holidays! Skate or die!

–Pacific Beach Boardwalk, San Diego, California

Overheard by: OB Dave

Man on cell: Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady.

–Marine World, Vallejo, California

Overheard by: Keena Burt

Surfer dude: Dude, you just don’t know how long a foot is until you see it in a hot dog.

–Mission Bay Beach, San Diego, California