California

Teen girl on cell: It doesn't have feces in it?

–Malibu, California

Blonde walking on pier: I am not ditzy! Ask me a question.
Brunette: Uh, which way is West?
Blonde: That’s a trick question.

–Huntington Beach, California

Teenybopper #1: Ew, I hate wide open spaces.
Teenybopper #2: Isn’t there a word for that?
Teenybopper #1: Yeah, I think it’s some kind of phobia or something.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: MarilynMonBRO

Tourist: Excuse me, are we at the right beach?
Local: Umm…
Tourist: We want to go to the beach where you can see the Golden Gate Bridge.
Local: It’s right there.
Tourist: Where?
Local: Why am I talking to you again?

–San Francisco, California

Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that's skimboarding?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don't you just wanna run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tanning oil, staring at them: That's my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been going out?
Girl: Four months. What's it to you?
Woman #1: Just weighing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleeping with him.
(girl makes disgusted noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don' t worry, Shar. She's hideous. We'll follow them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or something, we'll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We always do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each other, saying nothing) I've got a bigger rack.

–Pismo Beach, California

Overheard by: Matilda

Mom to young son: You lost all your privileges when you peed in your pants.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Scott

Girl on phone: I have good news and bad news! The good news is I'm not pregnant. The bad news is I need new jeans!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Grossed out but laughing

Drunk girl, holding a can of Milwaukee’s Best, sadly: …I feel bad for Milwaukee.

–Santa Barbara, California

Teen:Yeah, we met this black guy and he spoke Japanese, Filipino, and Mexican.
(silence from the group)
Teen: Yeah, he was this black guy who spoke Japanese, Filipino, and Mexican.
(continued silence)
Teen: This black guy spoke Japanese, Filipino and Mexican… Ohhh, dude! Haha!

–Hermosa Beach, California

Girl #1: Man, I think I got a yeast infection from that dude.
Girl #2: That fucking sucks.
Girl #1: Tell me about it. Getting laid is killing my sex life.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: hillary claire