6-year-old day camper #1: My favorite is the leopard shark. Is it your favorite, too?
6-year-old day camper #2: Nah, my favorite animals are monsters.
–Birch Aquarium, Scripps Oceanography Institute, La Jolla, California
Overheard by: orly
6-year-old day camper #1: My favorite is the leopard shark. Is it your favorite, too?
6-year-old day camper #2: Nah, my favorite animals are monsters.
–Birch Aquarium, Scripps Oceanography Institute, La Jolla, California
Overheard by: orly
Dirty old man to visibly terrified 20-something girl next to him: You know, as of today I am no longer on probation. Yep. You look good in shorts. I'm wearing pants cause I had to go to court today. (stops to make phone call) Hey, it's Steven*! Not on probation anymore! (hangs up without saying goodbye, turns back to girl) Right over there is where I went to school. Ten years old, then I quit. Mom used to have a dry clean right over there. No more. Ya know, over that building's the one my buddy sold and now it's a Hard Rock Cafe. A Hard Rock Cafe! Some years ago I saw Peter, Paul & Mary there. Ya know them? I used to date Mary. Wanted me to go to [unintelligible] with her. Never been there to this day. Been to South America, Africa, all over! Never done go to [unintelligible]. Alright, well, take care! (he gets off bus)
No longer terrified 20-something girl to random girl: He smelled like cocaine!
–Express Bus, Waikiki, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
Guy at table full of intently listening people: Imagine 50 pounds of animal defecating inside your house! That's a lot of shit!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Magician to middle-aged woman: Put your pointer fingers out, and point them about five inches apart. (woman does, but it looks more like three inches) I don't know what guy told you that was 5 inches…
–Carnival Valor, Caribbean Sea
Chubby, bald man to female friends: They should really put mirrors on the beach, facing out towards the water, so you can watch yourself in the ocean… No, not mirrors, JumboTrons! I would love to watch myself on a giant tv while I swim!
–Kure Beach, North Carolina
Tour coach driver, gesturing to McDonald's restaurant further down the road: Aaaaand coming up ahead are the golden arches of the American embassy.
–TehanuNui, Nelson, New Zealand
Overheard by: Makenzie
20-something male, chasing after another with driftwood: Go back to the sea from whence you came!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Little girl to friend, after being put back into standing position by a wave: Haha! That wave just knocked me up!
–Craigville Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Short sister: If I were to be in a porno with anyone, I would choose to be in it with you.
Tall sister: I'm not risking my dignity to be in a porno with my sister. No matter how much you're paying me.
–Lake Kalamalka, Vernon, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: Sounds like a good time to me.
Large lady in elevator to another: The kids brought back this DVD, they said it was PG-13… Well they started it up and it was raunchy! It had cheerleaders in it and god knows what else.
–Majestic Beach Towers, Panama City Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Heading to Blockbusters to find that DVD!
