Dumb meatheads to dumb girls: So we’ve got triscuits and flavor-blasted goldfish back at our condo if you want to come with us.
–Siesta Beach, Florida
Dumb meatheads to dumb girls: So we’ve got triscuits and flavor-blasted goldfish back at our condo if you want to come with us.
–Siesta Beach, Florida
Girl under umbrella: She said her two life goals are to grow a third arm and trip a cripple.
Mom (to friend): She’s a theater kid.
Friend: But still, I don’t see any reason to hurt a disabled person.
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mary
Drunk guy #1: You keep condoms and stamps in your wallet?
Drunk guy #2: Yeah.
Drunk guy #1: So what are you gonna do, bang her and send her a thank you note?
–Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Well, it WOULD be a nice gesture…
Beach-goer: Holy shit! Is that a squirrel in your panties?!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: BAJAZEUS
Girl: I really wish I was a vampire, then I could suck people's blood.
Friend: (completely silent)
Girl: That was kinda creepy sounding, wasn't it?
Friend: Well, I mean, it's not a bad thing to like biting people, but it is kinda frowned on to mention it…
–Hawaii
Man: … So I just walked out of there with two heads of cabbages and a hand full of cash… And I walked up to him and said, ‘Give me that goat!’
–Restaurant, Mammoth, California
Guy on cell: Yes, I'm on the beach. I told you, I'm in the Caribbean this week.
–Tobay Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: debbie downer
Teen girl #1: Have you been going to church lately?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I found a new church I really like.
Teen girl #1: Really?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, it like smells all creepy, and, like, they speak in tongues. It is really scary, so I will probably go to this one!
Teen girl #1: Cool. Maybe I’ll go with you.
–Shilshole Beach, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Why do those people have goatskins on?
