Girl in bathroom stall: Eww, the pee on this seat is so bad I can't even wipe it up!
Friend: So don't sit on it.
Girl: I know, but I kinda wanted to poop…gotta do the lean, and it's gonna splash. Oh, wait, hmmmm… It's not there after all! It was a ghost poop.
–Rocks Off Concert Cruise, New York
Hobo: Come on, people! How about this? Put a penny in my bucket and I'll go back to Venice and leave you all the fuck alone!
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Zoe
Guy to girl: There's some drunk people over there. Don't look at them.
–La Jolla, California
Girl: Do you hipsters wear glasses?
Boy: Only if it's not necessary.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Paperback Writer
Girl #1: Whenever I go to Europe I just say I'm Canadian and they don't get weird like they do if you say you're American.
Girl #2: No way I'm claiming to be Canadian! Have you talked to those people?
–Austin, Texas
Boy to friend: When she called I was in my room, naked, blow drying my body.
–Jones Beach, New York
Three-year-old girl with strong Southern accent: I am gonna get tattoos all over myself.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: james
Girl looking at others on beach: What freaks!
Guy: Emma, I'm waving a spatula and you're counting waves.
Girl: Logic accepted.
–St. Bees, England
Redneck dude: Hey man, can I borrow some suntan lotion?
Yuppie dude: Sure! (squirts some in his hand)
Redneck dude: Thanks, guy! (walks back to hotel room)
–St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: ikki nikki
6-year-old day camper #1: My favorite is the leopard shark. Is it your favorite, too?
6-year-old day camper #2: Nah, my favorite animals are monsters.
–Birch Aquarium, Scripps Oceanography Institute, La Jolla, California
Overheard by: orly
