Stoned surfer #1: Hey, remember that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was running around with it and wouldn’t let anyone have it? That was hilarious.
Stoned surfer #1: Totally.
–Bolinas, California
Overheard by: didn’t think it was hilarious then or now
Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Little girl, very afraid of the toilet: No!
Girl's frustrated mother: Go to the bathroom. It's not going to hurt you. I promise!
Girl: No!
Mother: Please! I'll be standing right here. Nothing will happen.
Girl: No no no no no!
Mother: Goddammit, Kylie! You can't hold you poop in forever!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Millie
Large gay man on bike, calling back to others: Come on, guys! We're going to miss the Origami!
–Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mj
Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I'd totally stick drugs and shit up there!
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: I have one, but I don't
Queer to boyfriend: You’d look so hot with a peg leg!
Fire Island Boulevard, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Bryan
Beach guy #1: Hurry up!
Beach guy #2: Fellas, what's the rush? The beach only starts at two!
–Cape Town, South Africa
Petite and topless blonde: When I get my boobs done, I'm gonna like… Walk around school with my tits out all the time.
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Overheard by: mar
