Aren't You Guys a Little Young for a Suicide Pact?

Kid #1: Wanna make a sand castle?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go swimming?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go eat ice cream?
Kid #2: Wanna go die?

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Mandy

Posted on May 28, 2023
Comebacks, Default, Food, Insults, Kids, Offers and requests, Swimming, Virginia

And Hard to Breathe

20-something girl, coming out of the ocean: This water’s salty!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Posted on May 7, 2023
Default, Girls, Idiots, Sensory Experiences, South Carolina, Stupidity, Swimming

Shark: Ralph, Do You Have to Play the Jaws Theme Non-Stop?

Middle aged tourist yelling frantically to children in the water: Get out, get out! There's sharks!
Teenager with skimboard: Actually, those are a school of stingrays. They're quite harmle…
Middle age mother, cutting him off: Shaaarks! Get out now!

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Jonica Grompson

Posted on February 8, 2023
Animals, Florida, Kids, Moms, Swimming, Teens, Threats, Tourists

I'm Rethinking the Joint Custody Arrangement

Mother taking away son’s boogie board: Enough, time to leave and go home.
Young son: You don’t deserve a child!

–Sea Isle City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Gaby Young

Posted on January 25, 2023
Moms, New Jersey, Should've used a condom, Swimming

Didn't RoboCop Destroy the Place?

Old man: I think it's too late to swim, the oil is washing up on the beach.
Old woman: Yeah, it's too late for a lot of things now.
Old man: We should move back to Detroit. It's less polluted.
Old woman: I don't want to die in Detroit. Remember, we had this conversation already.

–Pier, St Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: Sandy Paws

Posted on December 28, 2022
Death, Florida, Nature, Old folks, Swimming, Wishes

Britney and K-Fed's Baby Takes to the Water

Little boy, floating on his back: Look at me! I’m the slowest boat in life!

–Valley Falls, Vernon, Connecticut

Overheard by: your parents must be so proud

Posted on December 23, 2022
Connecticut, Kids, Swimming

Great White Ones!

Little black kid: Why can't we go in the pool?
Friend: What pool? That ain't no pool, nigga, it's got sharks in it!

–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York

Posted on December 20, 2022
Animals, Black people, Friends, Kids, New York, Questions, Swimming, Weirdness

Moral: You Should Always Take Your Camera When There's the Chance There Will Be Lesbians.

Teen male #1: I just saw two lesbians kissing in the water.
Teen male #2: What? Why didn't you take a fucking picture?
Teen male #1: Right, I forgot to take my camera phone with me while diving into the water…

–North Crete, Greece