Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.
–Pacifica, California
Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.
–Pacifica, California
Mother, to little boy refusing to wear swimmies: Fine, I guess you can go drown. Say bye bye to mommy. [Little boy breaks into hysterics.]
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Leigh
Random passer-by: Have you seen Shark Week? I'm not going in there!
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Anna
Tween girl: Look I can float, and I don’t have big boobs!
–Manasquan Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jenn
Thug #1: You goin’ in the water or you not?
Chick: I wanna go in the water, but I need yo’ shirt!
Thug #1: You’s like the Mexicans sayin’ they wanna cross the fence to get to the U.S. Just climb over it!
Thug #2: They cross the river! Them Mexicans turn cars into boats and float across! They must been watchin’ Monster Garage when they turned the VW Bug into a boat!
Thug #1: You not gettin’ my t-shirt — go in the water!
Chick, turning to Thug #1’s toddler son: Can I have your jersey? You have a shirt under it! I wanna go in the water!
Toddler: No!
Thug #2: That thing was sick. They turned that car into a boat and floated across!
–Plum Island, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Megan
Young boy: This water’s too cold for one of my privates!
–Cunningham Falls, Maryland
Teenage boy #1, neck deep in water: Aw, dude! My phone was in my pocket!
Teenage boy #2: (silence)
Teenage boy #1: Dude! I just found a hundred dollar bill!
Teenage boy #2: (silence)
Teenage boy #1: Man, I love that Xbox 360.
Teenage boy #2: Yeah man, yeah!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Surfer #1: I’m thinking about joining this race where you paddle out to Catalina.
Surfer #2: How do you get back?
Surfer #3: Might not come back.
Surfer #4: Heavy.
–Malibu, California
Overheard by: Brandon
Girl to friend: I don't think I'm going to go into the water. I'm going out later, and sand in my crotch just makes me grumpy.
–Santa Monica Beach, California
