Worried surfer: I’ve been out here four hours and my knob still hasn’t changed color!
–Coogee Beach, Sydney, Australia
Worried surfer: I’ve been out here four hours and my knob still hasn’t changed color!
–Coogee Beach, Sydney, Australia
Surfer girl #1, sitting on board in the ocean: I hope it doesn't rain, I really don't want my hair to get wet.
Surfer girl #2: Do you listen to yourself when you speak?
Surfer girl #1: I tune in and out.
–One Mile Beach, Australia
Overheard by: Jess
Drunk white guy: Girl, I love you. You remind me of my friends from Philly!
Sober black girl: Why? Cause I'm black?
Drunk white guy: Yes. (pause) I felt you deserved an honest answer!
–Port Hueneme, California
Overheard by: honesty is the best policy
Teen boy: Ugh. This tanning oil gets so hot! Maybe it will fry off my back zits. Hey, move over, I want to lay down so the sun will burn off my back zits.
–Beach, Rhode Island
Old lady looking at 30-something lady with a pot belly: Oh, how nice! How far along are you?
30-something lady: I beg ya pardon?
Old lady, smiling: Well, when are you due honey? The baby!
30-something lady: I'm not pregnant! This is how I look!
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Rented Segway guy with a helmet to another: You feel really cool, but you don't *look* really cool.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: byrneout
Drunk man: [Bumps into girl and puts his hand around her to move her aside.] Sorry.
Girl: Eww! You’re dirty!
Drunk man: C’mon, you know you like it!
Girl: Eww! [Drunk man walks away.] Call me!!
–Manhattan Beach, California
Overheard by: Snoog
Girl: I didn’t realize my nipples were dark until I went to sleep-away camp and the girls in my tent were like: “Um. Wow.” I went topless in Jamaica and they were, like, black when I came back.
–Long Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Colleen
Teenage girl: I hate my sister so much… She's so fat! And I just really hate fat people.
–Cedar Creek Beach, Nebraska
Perv #1: Dude, check out that girl!
Perv #2: Which one?
Perv #1: Over there, in the yellow suit!
Perv #2: What? She can’t be more than twelve!
Perv #1: Dude, I would totally do her!
Perv #2: You need help, man. She doesn’t even have tits.
Perv #1: I’m not a titty man.
Perv #2: Yeah, well, your boyfriend in prison will be glad to hear that.
–Island Beach State Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Steve
