Hipster teen on cell: No, dude, I'm not sober. I'm totally drunk and I have to babysit in less than an hour!
–Alki Beach, Seattle, Washington
Hipster teen on cell: No, dude, I'm not sober. I'm totally drunk and I have to babysit in less than an hour!
–Alki Beach, Seattle, Washington
Teenage gangsta on cell: Naw man, she's not gonna mess with me. I have her MySpace password. Her MySpace password!
–San Diego, California
Man on phone: How about I stick my penis in your vagina?
Woman on the other end of the phone, loudly: How bout…no.
–Pismo Beach, California
Overheard by: couldn't contain
Quick-walking woman leaving voice mail: Hey, it’s me. I need you to call me as soon as you get this. I have never wanted to chop someone’s dick off as much I as I do right now. He is a low-down lying piece of shit, and I hope he fucking dies. I mean, a fucking tractor-trailer could run his fucking sonofabitch ass over and I would be perfectly fine. Okay, talk to you soon, I love you!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Girl on cell: Hey! I was wondering when you’re picking me up… Oh… Okay… Well, yeah, I’m not as exciting as getting fucked. I’d ditch me too. Okay, call me tomorrow!
–Queen’s Quay, Toronto, Canadia
Overheard by: Laura
Loud man on cell, walking across bridge: So I just said, “I want it all! I want to see it all!”
60-year-old woman to teenage granddaughter: That's what she said.
–Balboa, California
Black tween girl to girlfriend on cell: It's mad hot out, you deported Dominican.
–Bergen Beach, New York
Overheard by: its not THAT hot out
Girl on cell: Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm in the library. (pause) Yes. (pause) No, I can't talk, I'm studying.
–Blemar Beach, New Jersey
Guy on cell: It's not gay if you use tweezers.
–Tampa, Florida
Girl on cell: Sometimes I just wanna beat you. Like, with my hand… Not my fist.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: SB
