Woman #1: I once saw my neighbor being taken out of his house in a coroner’s bag.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Because he was dead.
–Manhattan Beach, California
Woman #1: I once saw my neighbor being taken out of his house in a coroner’s bag.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Because he was dead.
–Manhattan Beach, California
White trash 7 year old, chasing seagulls: Varmits! Get away, you varmits!
Man: Does she mean varmints?
Woman: She’s from Indiana. That 10 year old next to her who is throwing the shovel at the seagulls is probably her mother.
–Indiana Dunes National Park
Tourist lady: Do you know when the dolphin show is?
Lifeguard: Uh, yeah, I think the truck just came with all the dolphins in it… should be in about half an hour.
Tourist lady: Oh, great! Thank you.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Laughing Local
Woman: That bitch must have one of those fun house mirrors that she looks thin in, because that ass in that suit is just wrong, wrong, wrong.
–Playa Del Carmen, Mexico
Woman: Do you think Otto* will get a complex because everyone always says "good dog" to him?
Man: I don’t think he cares.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: downtown
Wife to another: If you get a frappucino, make sure it's a white chocolate frappucino, because the dark part of the chocolate is where all the calories live.
–Starbucks, Santa Barbara
Wife to husband: Baby, don’t get out in the water! Those kids will be hanging on you like remoras!
–Grand Isle, Louisiana
Woman: It wasn’t a boob reduction. It was a boob elimination. You know, a man-sectomy.
–Warren Dunes, Lake Michigan
Overheard by: Andrea
Redneck lady coming out of a liquor store: She must have been drunk when she named her kid “Jose Cuervo”.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
