Woman: Instead of saying hello, we should say heaveno. Hello gives Satan powers.

–Toronto, Ontario

Overheard by: $ue

Woman: I am talking, and you are farting. That’s nice!

–Balmy Beach, Toronto, Ontario

Overheard by: nfh

Woman #1: Is that a dead seal in the water?
Woman #2: Are you Canadian or just stupid?
Woman #1: I’m Canadian.

–Key West, Florida

Overheard by: uarerude

Lady on cell: And sushi (points at her chihuahua) stops to look for you, but I tell her you're at work and she laughs.

–Tamarama Beach, Australia

Overheard by: GGary

Older lady #1: You know they have a hot stone massage?
Older lady #2: Really?
Older lady #1: Yeah! It sounds really nice.
Older lady #2: Maybe we should get them! Then we can get shirts that say “I got stoned in Miami”
Older lady #1, laughing: We could.
Older lady #2: No, but I actually want to get them and wear that shirt.

–Elemis Spa, Miami Beach, Florida

Young woman: I am so not doing that again. One, it’s gross, and two, my legs are killing me.

–Chatham Light Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Antonia

Jersey woman, to seagull: Get away, you lazy sonofabitch! Go find your own food! [to friends] Just like Mexicans.

–Wildwood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Dan