Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it's really getting annoying, I'm like “mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?”
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Elise
Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it's really getting annoying, I'm like “mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?”
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Elise
Elderly woman wearing metal curlers, on cell: So I was masturbating to Human Centipede the other day, and it occurred to me I haven't gone to mass in like, forever!
–Tampa, Florida
Women on cell walking down a 2-mile beach: I am right by the water. Where are you?
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Antzolino
Woman on beach towel: I’ve never met a ferret that didn’t bite me.
–Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Laura From Aurora
Elderly lady: Come now, y’all! Key West is gonna be loads of fun! They gots the Ripley’s and Cuban people!
–Lido deck, The Carnival Glory, Key West
Overheard by: y’all need an icepack on dat thang?
Woman: Excuse me, is that Catalina?
Man: No, Catalina is over there.
Woman: Oh, well, what island is that?
Man: Um, that’s a ship.
–Palos Verdes, California
