Health & Hygiene

American girl #1: Does your boyfriend shave his balls?
American girl #2: I didn’t know that men do that.
Nearby British man: Is this what young American girls talk about on their holiday?

–Cassis, France

30-something mom dragging toddler down path: What do you mean your legs hurt? You're four years old! My legs don't even hurt and I'm like three times your age!

–Bay Shore, Long Island, New York

Tourist: How do they get the sand so white? Do they bleach it or something?
Local: We wash it every day.

–Tulum, Mexico

Overheard by: Tulumbum

Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.

–Pacifica, California

Black chick walks by two white guys on the beach.

White guy #1: She is pretty hot. I’m gonna go talk to her.
White guy #2: Chicks like that always have some huge black dude waiting to beat your ass for looking at them.
White guy #1: I can tell she dates white men.
White guy #2: How?
White guy #1: Her tits are fake.

–South Beach, Florida

Overheard by: PS

Frat boy #1: How did Steve squeeze past the crowd and order drinks so fast?
Frat boy #2: Oh, he takes yoga classes.

–South Beach bar, Miami, Florida

10-year-old boy: We're going to have a hundred babies together.
14-year-old girl: What do you think I am?
10-year-old boy: A pregnant machine.

–Tampa, Florida

10-year-old boy: We're going to have a hundred babies together.
14-year-old girl: What do you think I am?
10-year-old boy: A pregnant machine.

–Tampa, Florida

Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: I prefer the toilet

Swedish guy: … So she had to shave her pussy and use a used razor she found in the trash.

–Barcelona, Spain

Overheard by: boxface