Tourist: How do they get the sand so white? Do they bleach it or something?
Local: We wash it every day.
–Tulum, Mexico
Overheard by: Tulumbum
Tourist: How do they get the sand so white? Do they bleach it or something?
Local: We wash it every day.
–Tulum, Mexico
Overheard by: Tulumbum
Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.
–Pacifica, California
Black chick walks by two white guys on the beach.
White guy #1: She is pretty hot. I’m gonna go talk to her.
White guy #2: Chicks like that always have some huge black dude waiting to beat your ass for looking at them.
White guy #1: I can tell she dates white men.
White guy #2: How?
White guy #1: Her tits are fake.
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: PS
Frat boy #1: How did Steve squeeze past the crowd and order drinks so fast?
Frat boy #2: Oh, he takes yoga classes.
–South Beach bar, Miami, Florida
10-year-old boy: We're going to have a hundred babies together.
14-year-old girl: What do you think I am?
10-year-old boy: A pregnant machine.
–Tampa, Florida
10-year-old boy: We're going to have a hundred babies together.
14-year-old girl: What do you think I am?
10-year-old boy: A pregnant machine.
–Tampa, Florida
Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: I prefer the toilet
Swedish guy: … So she had to shave her pussy and use a used razor she found in the trash.
–Barcelona, Spain
Overheard by: boxface
Tanned girl: That’s not tanning lotion. That’s brown paint.
Pale girl: Well, it cost me $80 so it better get me your color. Besides, it says Tahitian women have been using it for years!
Tanned girl: Yeah, and Tahitian women have been having syphilis for years, too.
–Sporting Beach Club, Beirut, Lebanon
Overheard by: Nicolien
Bitchy friend: … So then we took a vote, and you’re the biggest slut out of all of us.
Girl: But I’m the only virgin.
Bitchy friend: We know.
–Kingston Beach, Washington
