Mom: You cut your finger on a Cheetoh?
–Hotel pool, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Mom: You cut your finger on a Cheetoh?
–Hotel pool, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Lady in long line for bathroom: Why you wanna change in there when you got sand up your ass?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York
Little girl: Mommy! What is that?
Mother: Careful, honey, that’s a crab.
Little girl: Is that the same thing you said Aunt Kathy had last year?
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Biel
Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I'm not the only one with crab problems.
–Jones Beach, New York
Drunk boy: Anemic? Isn't that when you eat too much white bread?
–Poolside, Perth, Australia
Older rich man: I stopped using soap back in '74. There's a lot to be said for some hot water and a good scrub.
–Destin, Florida
Girl, to her friend who has just dropped a tortilla: Five second rule!
Friend: I am not eating a fucking tortilla off the floor of Tijuana!
Several bystanders: We’re in Rosarito!
–Taco stand, Rosarito, Baja
Guy: Oh, man, I’ve got salt in my penis now. That shit hurts.
Girl: I don’t really think it matters what goes in my vagina.
–Melbourne Beach, Florida
Overheard by: H K
Girl on phone: Did you go to my car yet? (pause) Shit, I wanted you to grab my deodorant. (pause) You have deodorant? (disgusted pause) I'm not going to use deodorant you just scraped off yourself!
–Coney Island, New York
Woman, talking about a topless sunbather: Is that a man?
Guy: No.
Woman: God, that is so not New Jersey.
–South Beach, Miami
Overheard by: Marty
