Friends

Blond woman, wrapping towel around her waist: I feel like my thighs are too fat to be at the beach.
Gay friend: Well, shit, now they look like they're in a sausage casing. Downgrade.

–Palmetto, Boca Raton, Florida

College student to friend: I watch less porn when I have a girlfriend…I don’t know why.

–Daytona Beach, Florida

[Guy on Harley drives by with Pat Benatar’s “Love Is a Battlefield” blasting.]Chubby girl #1: What the hell?
Chubby girl #2: That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.

–Bookfair, St. Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: Jamie

60-something woman: So, you know Susan?
60-something friend: Oh gosh, yes! We've been to all her nude parties!

–Anna Maria Island, Florida

Overheard by: Too much information

Girl #1 in stall: I think I’m bleeding.
Girl #2 in next stall: Do you have your period?
Girl #1: I dunno. Here, look.
Girl #2: I don’t want to look!
Girl #1: At my foot, dumbass.

–Wawa, Chadwick Beach, New Jersey

Bimbette to friend: Why is it so cold? It’s a beach!
Passerby: Yeah, a beach in November… Dipshit.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: dr. obvious

Man, walking with friend on pier, pointing at full moon reflecting water: In Hawaii, you see the stars reflecting in the water.

–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York

Overheard by: Janelle

Chick #1: My dog won’t eat its food unless we mix cottage cheese in it.
Chick #2: Ew, cottage cheese is disgusting.
Chick #1: Yeah, I hear it looks like a yeast infection.

–Hilton Head, South Carolina

Guy with thick European accent: What, you don’t like my muscles? You want me to wear long-sleeved shirt?
Friend: Uhhh, yes…

–Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: anny

Preteen boy #1, whispering to pal: Dude! Look at that girl lying over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Preteen boy #2, whispering back: Quiet… Damn!
Preteen boy #1: What’s that sticking out?
Preteen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Preteen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time.

–Padre Island, Texas