20-something girl, floating on waves: It's like riding a cowboy… I mean, a bucking bronco.
20-something friend: Or is it like riding a cowboy who's riding a bucking bronco?

–WindMark Beach, Florida

Girl: I really wish I was a vampire, then I could suck people's blood.
Friend: (completely silent)
Girl: That was kinda creepy sounding, wasn't it?
Friend: Well, I mean, it's not a bad thing to like biting people, but it is kinda frowned on to mention it…


Woman #1: I haven’t had sex in three years.
Woman #2: But what about your friend?
Woman #1: He doesn’t count, because I don’t enjoy it.

–Brittany Beach, France

Guy #1: Hey, man! What’s up?
Guy #2: You don’t return my calls…
Guy #1: I don’t return your Facebook messages.

–Woodbine Beach, Toronto, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Kaley

Hippie girl: Hey, how’s Stone?
Hippie guy: You know — he’s Stone… Oh, wait! He started wearing shoes!
Hippie girl: Well, that is a change!

–Maui, Hawaii

Dude #1: So, I’m up for this reality show…
Dude #2: Hey, congratulations!
Dude #1: But in this contract they want me to sign it says, ‘We reserve the right to use any footage that embarrasses, humiliates, defames, or otherwise ruins your fucking life.’ I’m not signing that shit.

–West Hollywood, California

Atheist: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear … ” (pause) Wow! I have no idea where that came from.
Bible-lover: Actually it's from the Bible: John, chapter 4, verse 18.
Atheist: Oh, fuck! Man…

–Hanover Beach, Indiana

Overheard by: triz3en

Dumb blonde: It's not “labia Menorah”?
Friend: No, that's the Jewish thing.
Dumb blonde: So what is it then?

–Siesta Key, Florida

Friend: Mmm! Sharice, that smells good! What’d you spray?
Sharice: Girl, it ain’t no spray.
Friend: What is it?
Sharice (very loudly): Mah pussayyy, bitch!

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Suzanne

Drunk guy to drunk friend, seeing approaching car: Hey! Watch out for death!

–Terrigal, Australia