Bimbette to friend: Why is it so cold? It’s a beach!
Passerby: Yeah, a beach in November… Dipshit.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: dr. obvious
Man, walking with friend on pier, pointing at full moon reflecting water: In Hawaii, you see the stars reflecting in the water.
–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York
Overheard by: Janelle
Chick #1: My dog won’t eat its food unless we mix cottage cheese in it.
Chick #2: Ew, cottage cheese is disgusting.
Chick #1: Yeah, I hear it looks like a yeast infection.
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Guy with thick European accent: What, you don’t like my muscles? You want me to wear long-sleeved shirt?
Friend: Uhhh, yes…
–Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: anny
Preteen boy #1, whispering to pal: Dude! Look at that girl lying over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Preteen boy #2, whispering back: Quiet… Damn!
Preteen boy #1: What’s that sticking out?
Preteen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Preteen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time.
–Padre Island, Texas
Redhead to blonde: So I think he's gay, for serious, I'm not even kidding.
Blonde: What does your dad think?
Redhead: Oh, my dad says that he's “just playing.”
Blonde: Little boys don't play like that.
–La Jolla, California
Girl #1: But you were dancing with that guy…
Girl #2: Which guy?
Girl #1: The guy with the hard-on.
Girl #2: Which one?
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl #1: Yeah, my mom wants me to go to this party, but I don’t wanna go alone. Wanna come?
Girl #2: Is it Tina’s party?
Girl #1: … Did you just ask me if it was a penis party?
–Clearwater, Florida
Overheard by: Hana
Chick #1: Is it just me, or does that baby over there have really broad shoulders?
Chick #2: Maybe you should get his number.
–Oscoda, Michigan
Overheard by: Kate
