Mom hands little boy a hot dog.
Little boy: Oh, thank you, Lord!
Mother: I am not the Lord!
Little Boy: Well, thanks, Mom.
Mother: I hate you.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Sitting nearby, LOLing.
Mom hands little boy a hot dog.
Little boy: Oh, thank you, Lord!
Mother: I am not the Lord!
Little Boy: Well, thanks, Mom.
Mother: I hate you.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Sitting nearby, LOLing.
Cute Jewish on cell, to mother: Are you calling me just to fucking nag? Cuz if you are, I am hanging up. (pause) I don't know, I'm going to do what every Jew does on Christmas, go to the movies and eat Chinese food!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Teen boy #1: Yeah, and then there’s the what-do-you-call-its — those Doritos X-13-D or whatever — where you name the flavor.
Teen boy #2: Haha, yeah. They probably just, like, mixed ingredients or something and didn’t know what to call it.
Teen boy #1: All I know is it tasted like Dijon mustard and chicken Ramen noodles.
–Manteo, North Carolina
Overheard by: Sarah J
Amateur marine biologist #1: Why are they called jellyfish?
Amateur marine biologist #2: They taste like jelly. Duh.
Amateur marine biologist #1: Blueberry jelly?
Amateur marine biologist #2: I dunno. Taste it.
Amateur marine biologist #1, moments later: Cherry.
–Chesapeake Bay
Hot tan girl reading specials board: Does that say tuna and Jews?
Hot pale girl: Um, no. That says “with chips.”
–Crazy Gringo, Weirs Beach, New Hampshire
Drunk guy: If my life is their vacation, then why am I fucking broke, eating raw Ramen noodles for dinner, sleeping on the beach with the seagulls every fucking night?
–West Dennis Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: rob
Five-year-old girl looking at dead jellyfish: I wonder what flavor jelly it likes…
–Atlantic City, New Jersey
Overheard by: jared
Concerned granny: You have to get a fruit and a vegetable.
Porky grandson: Candy corn is a vegetable!
–Buffet Restaurant, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
Redneck spring breaker ordering from ceviche stand: Lemme try some of that shave-ice.
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Bet he didn’t like it
