Girl #1: My vag hurts.
Girl #2: It’s probably from the jet ski yesterday…or that guy last night.
–Siesta Key, Florida
Overheard by: sadly not that guy
Guy #1: Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Guy #2: The drink or actual sex?
Guy #1: Actual sex.
Guy #2: With a girl?
Guy #1: What the hell else would I mean?! Yeah, with a girl!
Guy #2: Like, actually having sex on the sand, like, right here.
Guy #1: Yeah, like in the sand with a girl on the beach, having sex.
Guy #2: You mean, like, full-on bump and grind sex or a quick fingerbang?
Guy #1: Sex, man, sex!
Guy #2: Because there are many types of sex, like anal and oral…
Guy #1: Full fucking sex! Just answer the question! Have you had sex on the beach? Jesus!
Guy #2: No, man, I haven’t.
Guy #1: You’re a fucking moron.
–Panama City, Florida
Overheard by: walking behind them trying not to bust a gut
Old fisherman: Don't be tanglin' your lines up with mine, son!
Younger fisherman: You want a beer?
Old fisherman: I saw a UFO fly right under that bridge one time.
Younger fisherman: You need a haircut.
–Creaky Dock, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
Dude #1: I wish she would just forgive me already. It’s been over a month.
Dude #2: Dude, you went down on her sister!
Dude #1: Well, yeah, exactly. It’s like the same pussy, right?
–Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Little boy, looking at large man: I thought only girls had those.
–Florida
Overheard by: Northern Lad
Guy on cell: I don't know, it may just be the chlamydia talking, though.
–Destin, Florida
14-year-old girl to friends: Yeah, I'm not a whore… I'm just popular.
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Loud girl #1 using knife: Man, this is sharp!
Loud girl #2: Yeah, that’s because it’s meant to stab people!
Loud girl #2’s boyfriend: No, it’s not…
–Pensacola Beach, Santa Rosa Island, Florida
Overheard by: pretending to read a research article
Drunk girl: My goal is to win a wet T-shirt contest so I can win two hundred dollars and get a tattoo… I could never get naked, but I would if I had to.
–Ft. Walton Beach, Florida
Overheard by: If I didn’t have to work the next day, I’d have invited her to party
