Florida

Old lady at car: Henry, wait for me!
Old man carrying beach chairs half a block ahead of her: Dammit, Agnes, I’m going! I’ve been waiting for you for 40 years!

–Beach near Naples, Florida

Overheard by: X

Guy #1: Oh, shit, I just realized we’re in Tampa!
Guy #2: So?
Guy #1: Tampa!
Guy #2: Oh, bukkake, right?

–St. Petersburg Beach, Florida

Girl #1: Look at that guy!
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one with the white thong!
Girl #2: [80-year-old guy bends over to pick up shell.] Look! The thong’s not white there!
Girl #1: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Freshman bikini girl #1: College classes are much more lame than I thought they would be.
Freshman bikini girl #2: Yeah. I mean, who cares about, like, the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Freshman bikini girl #1: Yeah! Or algebra! Like anyone even cares!
Freshman bikini girl #2: Do you have more baby oil?

–Cocoa Beach, Florida

Overheard by: a professor who specializes in Asian cultures

Professor: Are you guys working or just following a stingray?
Student #1: Working!
Student #2: Um…
Student #3: Both.
Professor: Both?
Student #3: We’re using the stingray to randomly decide where to take our next sample. They eat invertebrates — it’s like a divining rod!

–Fergie Shoals, Florida

Overheard by: Justification is for the geeky

Man with no pants to girls leaving bar: Leaving so soon?
Girl: Uh, yeah…we're hungry. We're gonna go get some food.
Man with no pants: Why? There's plenty of sausages right here!

–Garden of Eden Bar, Key West, Florida

Overheard by: K

Little girl: Are you a mom? You look like a mom.
College student: No. How old do you think I am?
Little girl: Fifteen?

–Palm City, Florida

Overheard by: MBD

20-something guy: If someone offered you a thousand dollars to let them break your leg, would you say yes? I would. I'd say “hell yeah, break that shit in half!”

–Siesta Key, Florida

Drunk dude to another: Yeah, my dad has really big thighs!

–Jacksonville Beach, Florida

Overheard by: i dont know

Elderly man, taking picture of his wife on the beach: You look like you're having an orgasm!
Wife: How would you know?

–Pass-A-Grille Beach, Florida

Overheard by: The girl who almost ended up in the picture.