Man at parents’ 25th wedding anniversary party: Without my parents, I don’t know where I’d be today.
Random guest: In a Kleenex!
–Party boat, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Big Larry
Man at parents’ 25th wedding anniversary party: Without my parents, I don’t know where I’d be today.
Random guest: In a Kleenex!
–Party boat, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Big Larry
Elderly lady: Come now, y’all! Key West is gonna be loads of fun! They gots the Ripley’s and Cuban people!
–Lido deck, The Carnival Glory, Key West
Overheard by: y’all need an icepack on dat thang?
Young kid: Awww look, you were right. Now I don’t get to punch you.
–Vero Beach, Florida
Male tourist speaking in German: Look at that guy's Speedo!
Female tourist speaking in German: Eeew. And his friend really needs to shave his back.
Male tourist speaking in German: I am so glad no one understands what we are saying.
Female tourist speaking in German: I know!
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: German-speaker
Grandma: So aren't you coming to visit me in 3 weeks.
Granddaughter: No, like 2 weeks and 6 days.
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Drunk college girl to drunk college boy: We have the same cell phone…we have so much in common!
–Panama City, Florida
20-something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.
20-something college girl: Well then what did he do?
20-something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left…
–Casino Beach, Pensacola, Florida
Professor #1: Where are you going?
Professor #2, with group of freshmen: Oh, y’know, Friday afternoon — just heading down to the bar.
Professor #1: Um…
Professor #2: The sand bar.
–Eckerd College, St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: I love my major.
JAP #1: Okay, seriously, he is the hottest senior ever.
JAP #2: Hah, yeah he is.
JAP #1: Like, you don’t understand — I would fuck his toe if he asked me to.
–Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: lilly
