Blonde: What is autism?
Brunette: Are you serious?
Blonde: Isn't that when you write upside-down?
–Tampa, Florida
Blonde: What is autism?
Brunette: Are you serious?
Blonde: Isn't that when you write upside-down?
–Tampa, Florida
Mom to 10-year-old son after he shakes sandy blanket in her face: You little fucker. I am going to fucking drown you in the ocean!
–Clearwater, Florida
Preppy white girl to black guy: You just jizzed on my arm and I don't even know you like that yet…
–Tampa, Florida
Wife: Do you want any sauce?
Husband: No, just ketchup for my fries.
Wife: Ketchup *is* a sauce!
Husband: No, tartar sauce is a sauce. Ketchup is just ketchup.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
Little boy: Mom, Jewish people are from the desert, right?
Mom: Yeah.
Little boy: So why are they in Miami?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with water, though.
Little boy: Oh. What about black people?
Mom: Sweetie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m healing the world.
–Miami, Florida
Guy: We need servers who are nice, polite, legal, and will pass a drug test.
–Miami, Florida
Redneck dude: Hey man, can I borrow some suntan lotion?
Yuppie dude: Sure! (squirts some in his hand)
Redneck dude: Thanks, guy! (walks back to hotel room)
–St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: ikki nikki
Girl to boy: Damn, look at those calluses on your hands! Do you masturbate with sandpaper or something?
–Tampa, Florida
Passing local, to little boy feeding seagulls: Hey, you don’t want to do that. They’ll attack you.
Little boy: Okay. Thank you.
Local walks of earshot.
Little boy: What a bitch.
–St. Pete Beach, Florida
Overheard by: sara
