Angry old lady in motorchair: Where the hell have you been?! I’ve been all over this side of the lake, on the ferry, to the other side and back across here lookin’ for you!
Bewildered old man in motorchair: I was over there lookin’ for you.
Angry old lady: Whatever! Just come on! [Speeds off.]Bewildered old man, scared: But wait for me!
–Epcot’s International Village, Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: bakerchica
Old black lady finishes pooping and flushes: Oh, thank you, Jesus! [Hums gospel tune.]
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Lauren
Girlfriend: Hey, wanna have sex in the water later?
Boyfriend: Of course.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Kristy Y
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!
–Naples, Florida
70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick 'em, but I can't dick 'em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You're very well-built for your age. (stares at girl's breasts) You wanna play pool with me?
–Palm Coast, Florida
Girl to friends: You know what tastes great? Scrambled chicken abortions…
–Tampa, Florida
