Guy #1: No. She, like, threw the tampon.
Guy #2: At him?
Guy #1: Yeah, to turn him on.
–St. Augustine, Florida
Guy #1: No. She, like, threw the tampon.
Guy #2: At him?
Guy #1: Yeah, to turn him on.
–St. Augustine, Florida
University of Miami girl: If I wasn’t me, I’d think I was stupid.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Nerd, to blind date: And the best part about this guy is that he’s half man, half rat, and he’s living in a WOOD ELF society!
–Steak ‘n Shake, Palm Beach, Florida
Baggy-Pants boy #1: I don’t take off my shoes at the beach.
Baggy-Pants boy #2: How are you going to walk in the water?
Baggy-Pants boy #1: I’ll just keep them on. Is there a law that says you have to be barefoot in the ocean?
Baggy-Pants boy #2: No. But there’s a law that says if you do that, you’re gonna look like a jackass.
–Fort Lauderdale Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Lesley
Blonde: What is autism?
Brunette: Are you serious?
Blonde: Isn't that when you write upside-down?
–Tampa, Florida
Mom to 10-year-old son after he shakes sandy blanket in her face: You little fucker. I am going to fucking drown you in the ocean!
–Clearwater, Florida
Preppy white girl to black guy: You just jizzed on my arm and I don't even know you like that yet…
–Tampa, Florida
Wife: Do you want any sauce?
Husband: No, just ketchup for my fries.
Wife: Ketchup *is* a sauce!
Husband: No, tartar sauce is a sauce. Ketchup is just ketchup.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
Little boy: Mom, Jewish people are from the desert, right?
Mom: Yeah.
Little boy: So why are they in Miami?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with water, though.
Little boy: Oh. What about black people?
Mom: Sweetie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m healing the world.
–Miami, Florida
Guy: We need servers who are nice, polite, legal, and will pass a drug test.
–Miami, Florida
