Black people

White girl to black friend: Why do black people wear colored skinny jeans?
Black girl: So when it's dark you can see them.

–Tampa, Florida

Black guy to friends: Now I can officially say I am the darkest nigga on the beach.

–Carkeek Park, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Onion girl

Old black lady finishes pooping and flushes: Oh, thank you, Jesus! [Hums gospel tune.]

–Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Lauren

Black guy to puking white guy: Yup, I know what that's like. I do that every morning, brother!

–Long Beach, Long Island, New York

White muscle head to black muscle head friend: Hey, bro! You got tan! How’d you do that?

–Robert Moses State Park, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Cara

Little black girl, as it starts to rain: It be droplin'!

–Elm Creek Beach, Minnesota

Overheard by: Life Guard

Blonde: I just can’t believe Justin Timberlake can dance like that!
Black guy: I can. It’s 2007 — brothers are intelligent and white girls got booty.

–Venice Beach, Florida

Overheard by: slamber

White girl: So, what are you doing in Miami?
Black guy: We’re here for the pussy.

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah-jay-jay than the Saharia desert!

–Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica

Overheard by: Erin

Ghetto chick #1: Yo, girl, I can smell you from here.
Ghetto chick #2: Girl, what you talkin’ ’bout? You better be talkin’ ’bout my lotion.
Ghetto chick #1: No, girl! I’m talkin’ ’bout your pussy.
Ghetto chick #2: You crazy, girl. Tony ate it out last night. Ain’t nothin’ in there to smell!
Ghetto chick #1: Maybe it’s just the nigga’s breath, then.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: karen g.