Boyfriend, offering a sip of shake: Here, have some.
Girlfriend: No, I’m okay.
Boyfriend: Have some, it’s protein!
Girlfriend: No! I’ll just suck your dick later.
Boyfriend: [Silence.]

–South Beach Florida

12‐year‐old boy to boogie boarding pal: You just did a 360! That was so awesome! We should all give you blowjobs for that! Even your brother!
Friend: Dude, you are so gay.

–Monterey Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith

Girl on cell: Suck a dick! Tell Vanessa to suck a dick too!

–Long Branch, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mr. Pacman and the Pacman Ghost

Guy: So I went to the party last night… and she gave me a BJ. Told you I was beast.
Friend: Well, she has herpes, so you should get tested.
Guy: That whore!

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Bikini girl to friend: Yeah, I’d suck a dick for an iPod touch.

–Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Girlfriend: Some of my favorite times are lying on the beach with my head in your lap.
Boyfriend: Yeah, a lot of my favorite times involve your head in my crotch, too.

–The Point, Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Greg P

Middle‐aged man: Hi, girls. I was wondering if I could borrow one of your magazines. My wife is really bored and forgot her book. I’ll give you a drink in return.
Group of 20‐ish girls: No problem. Here’s a People mag.
Middle‐aged man: Thanks. See ya.
Middle‐aged woman walks over laughing and whispers: Girls, my husband is so shy — I can’t believe he actually did that! And do you know what I have to do in return? [Girls stare.] I have to give him a blowjob tonight!

–Sullivan’s Island, South Carolina

Overheard by: Meghan

Drunk guy being dragged out of bar, yelling: But she promised she would suck my balls!

–Cold Keg, Melbourne, Florida

JAP #1: So yeah, Aaron* and Rachel* hooked up last night.
JAP #2: Oh my god! What a fucking slut!
JAP #1: Didn’t you and Rachel give Aaron a blow job last week, at the same time?
JAP #2: Yeah, so… Your point?
JAP #1: Oh, nevermind… Just wanted to know what you thought was slutty and what wasn’t.

–Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida

Overheard by: glad i picked the boca hotel to stay at..

Guy on cell: All you have to do is suck one cock and they’ll call you a cocksucker for the rest of your life.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Harell