Beach-goer: Holy shit! Is that a squirrel in your panties?!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: BAJAZEUS
Beach-goer: Holy shit! Is that a squirrel in your panties?!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: BAJAZEUS
Girl: I really wish I was a vampire, then I could suck people's blood.
Friend: (completely silent)
Girl: That was kinda creepy sounding, wasn't it?
Friend: Well, I mean, it's not a bad thing to like biting people, but it is kinda frowned on to mention it…
–Hawaii
Man: … So I just walked out of there with two heads of cabbages and a hand full of cash… And I walked up to him and said, ‘Give me that goat!’
–Restaurant, Mammoth, California
Guy on cell: Yes, I'm on the beach. I told you, I'm in the Caribbean this week.
–Tobay Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: debbie downer
Teen girl #1: Have you been going to church lately?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I found a new church I really like.
Teen girl #1: Really?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, it like smells all creepy, and, like, they speak in tongues. It is really scary, so I will probably go to this one!
Teen girl #1: Cool. Maybe I’ll go with you.
–Shilshole Beach, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Why do those people have goatskins on?
Teenage girl #1: Wait, if there's a Mrs. Claus and Santa, then how come he doesn't have any kids?
Teenage girl #2: Well, all the children in the world are his kids.
Teenage girl #1: Santa's kind of a pedophile if you think about it. Like, I'll sneak into your house and give you presents if you love me.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, ew.
–Misquamicit Beach, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Amanda
Guy #1: What happened to the girl you were seeing in Phoenix?
Guy #2: She broke up with me because I had too much baggage.
Guy #3: Wait! Was that the anorexic/bulimic with depression that was hooked on painkillers and ecstasy?
Guy #2: Yep.
Guy #1: You ever fuck her while she threw up?
Guy #2: You’re a sick fuck. (long pause) Yeah.
Guy #3: There is so much wrong with this conversation.
–Pacific Beach, California
Lady #1: They could have been Koreans.
Lady #2: But they count, don't they?
–Cape Cod Beach, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Nancy and Andrea
