Tourists

Boat captain: C’mon, we have to go. The tide’s coming in and the island’s gonna sink!
Gullible tourist: Okay.
(soon the tourist sees the island disappearing behind them on the horizon as the boat goes back to port)
Gullible tourist: You’re right! It’s sinking!

–Boat Tour, Hawaii

Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.

–Aruba

German: We’ll see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Disneyland. Then on the second day…

–Los Angeles, California

Tourist guy #1: I never thought you’d look good in Bermuda shorts.
Tourist guy #2: Right.
Tourist guy #1: But you do! You really do!

–Broadsands, South Devon, United Kingdom

Tourist guy: Can I get a banana daiquiri with dark rum?
Dominican Bartender: Sí.

Tourist guy receives a banana daiquiri in one glass and another full of dark rum.

–Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

Overheard by: Devon

Ditzy blonde tourist: I'm in New York City, and I have no idea what to do.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Mimi

Salesman: Gringo, gringo. Mexican wrestling mask, Nacho Libre!
Guy: No, dude, sorry. I already bought two today.
Salesman: Señorita, one for you?
Girl: Um, no, thanks.
Salesman: Come on… it will be something different for tonight!
Girl: If I wanted something different, we’d be at the farmacia buying Cialis.

–Puerto Nuevo, Mexico

Tourist mom: Can you rent a boat at the lake down there?
Employee: Um, no. And that's the Pacific ocean.

–Coffee Shop, Carmel Beach, California

Tourist: What happened to the beach? It's like…buried in sand!

–Mantoloking Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Shanna

Fat tourist lady: So then he yelled “I'm going to poop on your chest, you'll see!”

–South Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Captain K