Tourist: Are you a lifeguard?
Lifeguard: No, I just bring this 12-foot wooden lifeguard stand with me wherever I go.
–Kennebunk, Maine
Overheard by: Mike
Tourist: Are you a lifeguard?
Lifeguard: No, I just bring this 12-foot wooden lifeguard stand with me wherever I go.
–Kennebunk, Maine
Overheard by: Mike
Bedouin girl selling bracelets: Where you from?
Canadian tourist: You are so cute, I am from Canada!
Bedouin girl: Canada dry, never die, Canada dry, never die. You buy bracelet?
–Dahab, Egpyt
Swedish guy, to French guy: So you’re telling me I just paid like 1,000 Euro to go here and find out that some fuckin’ frogshagger screwed my girlfriend?
French guy says nothing.
Swedish guy: Hey, that’s three words for “intercourse” in one sentence! Personal record!
–Côte d’Azur, France
Overheard by: Another Swede
French backpacker waiting for bus, in heavy French accent: Please, someone take a picture of this obnoxiousnezz!
–Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica
Overheard by: RaindanceRichard
American tourist looking at beach: Whoa! There's a lot of sand!
–Beach, Australia
Southern lady looking at surfers in wetsuits: I never knew there were so many negro surfers!
–El Granada, California
Overheard by: davo
Very sunburned tourist man to very sunburned tourist lady: Well, I don't think we can get sunburned in the water.
–Bimini, Bahamas
Overheard by: Chey
Obnoxiously loud tourist on cell, watching lighthouse: Oh my god! You would just love it here! Everything is so cute and quaint! They even have a building that looks just like a real lighthouse! It lights up and everything!
–Holland State Park, Michigan
Worldly hippie: So, my goal right now is pretty much to take the time to watch the sunset every day, because, you know, there aren’t that many.
Vacationing New Yorker: What is there more of than sunsets?
–Goa, India
Overheard by: Iman
Serbian waiter: Card?
Tourist ordering drinks: You're going to card me!? C'mon, I left my card in the State room.
Serbian waiter: Card you? In Prague I work in bar next to high school, no I'm not going to carding! I need your payment card.
–Carnival Cruise, Ensenada, Mexico
