Tourists

Southern lady looking at surfers in wetsuits: I never knew there were so many negro surfers!

–El Granada, California

Overheard by: davo

Very sunburned tourist man to very sunburned tourist lady: Well, I don't think we can get sunburned in the water.

–Bimini, Bahamas

Overheard by: Chey

Obnoxiously loud tourist on cell, watching lighthouse: Oh my god! You would just love it here! Everything is so cute and quaint! They even have a building that looks just like a real lighthouse! It lights up and everything!

–Holland State Park, Michigan

Worldly hippie: So, my goal right now is pretty much to take the time to watch the sunset every day, because, you know, there aren’t that many.
Vacationing New Yorker: What is there more of than sunsets?

–Goa, India

Overheard by: Iman

Serbian waiter: Card?
Tourist ordering drinks: You're going to card me!? C'mon, I left my card in the State room.
Serbian waiter: Card you? In Prague I work in bar next to high school, no I'm not going to carding! I need your payment card.

–Carnival Cruise, Ensenada, Mexico

Tourist dad: Great communication, guys. Now I had to walk out here and get my feet all sandy.

–Ogunquit, Maine

Tourist: What time is high tide today?
Lifeguard: I think it's around 6:30.
Tourist: Why don't you just have it at the same time every day?

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Boat captain: C’mon, we have to go. The tide’s coming in and the island’s gonna sink!
Gullible tourist: Okay.
(soon the tourist sees the island disappearing behind them on the horizon as the boat goes back to port)
Gullible tourist: You’re right! It’s sinking!

–Boat Tour, Hawaii

Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.

–Aruba

German: We’ll see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Disneyland. Then on the second day…

–Los Angeles, California