Tourists

Swedish guy, to French guy: So you’re telling me I just paid like 1,000 Euro to go here and find out that some fuckin’ frogshagger screwed my girlfriend?

French guy says nothing.

Swedish guy: Hey, that’s three words for “intercourse” in one sentence! Personal record!

–Côte d’Azur, France

Overheard by: Another Swede

French backpacker waiting for bus, in heavy French accent: Please, someone take a picture of this obnoxiousnezz!

–Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica

Overheard by: RaindanceRichard

American tourist looking at beach: Whoa! There's a lot of sand!

–Beach, Australia

Southern lady looking at surfers in wetsuits: I never knew there were so many negro surfers!

–El Granada, California

Overheard by: davo

Very sunburned tourist man to very sunburned tourist lady: Well, I don't think we can get sunburned in the water.

–Bimini, Bahamas

Overheard by: Chey

Obnoxiously loud tourist on cell, watching lighthouse: Oh my god! You would just love it here! Everything is so cute and quaint! They even have a building that looks just like a real lighthouse! It lights up and everything!

–Holland State Park, Michigan

Worldly hippie: So, my goal right now is pretty much to take the time to watch the sunset every day, because, you know, there aren’t that many.
Vacationing New Yorker: What is there more of than sunsets?

–Goa, India

Overheard by: Iman

Serbian waiter: Card?
Tourist ordering drinks: You're going to card me!? C'mon, I left my card in the State room.
Serbian waiter: Card you? In Prague I work in bar next to high school, no I'm not going to carding! I need your payment card.

–Carnival Cruise, Ensenada, Mexico

Tourist dad: Great communication, guys. Now I had to walk out here and get my feet all sandy.

–Ogunquit, Maine

Tourist: What time is high tide today?
Lifeguard: I think it's around 6:30.
Tourist: Why don't you just have it at the same time every day?

–Virginia Beach, Virginia