Mother, dressing son: Wow, your hair dried gorgeously! You’re such a Jew.

–Cape Henlopen, Delaware

Overheard by: KDP

Little boy to friend: You wouldn't even know about Jesus if it wasn't for me!

–Wild Wood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Andie

Hippie chick #1: He’s doing fantastic.
Hippie chick #2: Really?
Hippie chick #1: Yeah, his family was really worried about him for a while, but he’s fine now… He’s, like, the leader of some cult in the valley.
Hippie chick #2: Good for him.

–Venice Beach, California

Dude #1: Bro, you want a beer?
Dude #2: Nah, I'm not drinking for Ramadan.

–Auckland, New Zealand

Woman: Instead of saying hello, we should say heaveno. Hello gives Satan powers.

–Toronto, Ontario

Overheard by: $ue

Little boy #1: You can’t do it.
Little boy #2: Yes, I can.
Little boy #1: Fine! Steal my soul.
Little boy #2: Don’t underestimate my powers.

–The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Lorraine

Little girl to mom: The seaweed tickles! It's like Baby Jesus is underwater, tickling my feet himself!

–Vero Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Incredulous

Outraged hippie chick: Someone drew a pentagram in my Zen garden!

–Seal Beach, California

Dude: You know you’re turning me on, right?
Hootchie: Do you want me to stop?
Dude: No. No, I don’t.
Hootchie: If you didn’t have a girfriend, I’d fuck you so hard you wouldn’t recognize Jesus.

–Newport, Oregon

Overheard by: Sonora

(in line at a grocery checkout)
Guy: I'm really excited about watching more movies, old ones and new ones. (pause) Now that I've got my soul back.

–Huntington Beach, California