Religion

Middle-aged man #1: They smoke crack and worship Satan.
Middle-aged man #2: Good.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Bunny

Band kid to another: It was both gay and funny, like Jesus and Fergie combined.

–Palm Coast, Florida

Overheard by: Dahbuke

Band kid to another: It was both gay and funny, like Jesus and Fergie combined.

–Palm Coast, Florida

Overheard by: Dahbuke

American girl #1: So, did you bring the book?
American girl #2: What book?
American girl #1: The book.
American girl #2: Ohh… Ant farm?
American girl #1: No. The bible. Fucking idiot.

–Aix en Provence, France

Overheard by: Ant Farm pretty much IS the Bible

Girl #1: Things happen for a reason, you know.
Girl #2: Yeah… It's probably good that I'm not rich. If I were rich, I'd be such a bitch!
Girl #1: Oh, I know! I'd still love you, but you'd be a total bitch.
Girl #2: Ugh… I can just hear me now: (total val voice) I'm going shopping! (normal voice) Ugh… My dad would spoil me.
Girl #1: I know! My dad too!
Girl #2: Our dads are too nice!
Girl #1: Maybe that's why god made them poor.
Girl #2: Yeah… He knew we'd be terrible people.

–Nathan's, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Wondering if I sound like this to other people

Big jock: We just need to give America back to the Muslims.

–Barceloneta Beach, Barcelona, Spain

Overheard by: Confesed Passerby

Girl: So, like, that Mary was too nice. I swear, if some angel came down and told me I was pregnant with God’s kid, I’d abort it. No immaculate conceptions for me.

–Santa Cruz, California

Little boy: Mom, Jewish people are from the desert, right?
Mom: Yeah.
Little boy: So why are they in Miami?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with water, though.
Little boy: Oh. What about black people?
Mom: Sweetie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m healing the world.

–Miami, Florida

Little boy, standing in water: I CHALLENGE YOU, POSEIDON!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Girl #1: I didn’t break any of the 10 Commandments today ’cause I was on a plane.
Girl #2: What’s a plane?

–Malibu, California