Girl: So, like, that Mary was too nice. I swear, if some angel came down and told me I was pregnant with God’s kid, I’d abort it. No immaculate conceptions for me.
–Santa Cruz, California
Girl: So, like, that Mary was too nice. I swear, if some angel came down and told me I was pregnant with God’s kid, I’d abort it. No immaculate conceptions for me.
–Santa Cruz, California
Little boy: Mom, Jewish people are from the desert, right?
Mom: Yeah.
Little boy: So why are they in Miami?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with water, though.
Little boy: Oh. What about black people?
Mom: Sweetie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m healing the world.
–Miami, Florida
Little boy, standing in water: I CHALLENGE YOU, POSEIDON!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Girl #1: I didn’t break any of the 10 Commandments today ’cause I was on a plane.
Girl #2: What’s a plane?
–Malibu, California
Mother, dressing son: Wow, your hair dried gorgeously! You’re such a Jew.
–Cape Henlopen, Delaware
Overheard by: KDP
Little boy to friend: You wouldn't even know about Jesus if it wasn't for me!
–Wild Wood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Andie
Hippie chick #1: He’s doing fantastic.
Hippie chick #2: Really?
Hippie chick #1: Yeah, his family was really worried about him for a while, but he’s fine now… He’s, like, the leader of some cult in the valley.
Hippie chick #2: Good for him.
–Venice Beach, California
Dude #1: Bro, you want a beer?
Dude #2: Nah, I'm not drinking for Ramadan.
–Auckland, New Zealand
Little boy #1: You can’t do it.
Little boy #2: Yes, I can.
Little boy #1: Fine! Steal my soul.
Little boy #2: Don’t underestimate my powers.
–The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Lorraine
