Penis

Girl to boy showing a picture: This is for Valentine's Day.
Boy: Umm… That's really disturbing, is it a bouquet of penises?
Girl: It's not disturbing! It's for Valentine's. (pause) Wait, did you just say “penises”?

–Tampa, Florida

Redhead: Holy shit! A penis!
Blonde: What?

–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Boots

Guy: I don't understand that song. I mean, how can hips not lie? That's like saying, “my nipples don't argue.”
Friend: Well, my cock never complains.

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Overheard by: raerae

Four-year-old boy: Wild for penis! Wild for penis! Wild for penis!

–Long Island Beach Club, Long Island, New York

Girl: Check out that guy’s package.
Guy: What?
Girl: Look at the guy in the Speedo.
Guy: No.
Girl: Just look. He’s huge.
Guy: Damn. You’re right. I’m embarrassed now. And I feel a little gay. I’m going to the bathroom.

–Tobay Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Rob

Teen girl #1: Oh my god, you can see his balls!
Teen girl #2: There’s nothing grosser than dad-balls.
Teen girl #1: Grandpa-balls!

–Stoney, Michigan

Overheard by: Waggies

20-something girl, talking about new guy she's dating: Yeah, he's kind of indie.
20-something guy: So is his dick dark brown?
20-something girl, after a long pause: Not Indian! Indie!

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Josh M.

Guy #1: Welcome, shrinkage!
Guy #2: My dick is inside my belly.
Guy #1: Yeah, it’s about to poke out of my ass.

–Sea Isle, New Jersey

Overheard by: Didn’t go into the water

Sailor #1, in bathroom: Ew! I saw your dick!
Sailor #2: Ew! You wish!

–Pensacola, Florida

Overheard by: disturbed roommate

Tourist girl #1: Wow! Check out the package on that guy!
Tourist girl #2: What? He's not holding anything.
Tourist girl #1: I meant his dick!

–Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Overheard by: Fernanda