Penis

Woman #1: Italian men make the best lovers.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: They have lots of stamina. They last longer and their penises are bigger.
Woman #2: What’s the opposite of that?

–Wellfleet, Massachusetts

Little girl, pointing to man in Speedo: Mom, what’s that?
Mother: That’s his swimsuit.
Little girl: No, what’s in his swimsuit?

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Teen boy: … And you’re so racist.
Teen girl: I’m really not.
Teen boy: It’s okay. I find it sexy.

–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Api

Girl to boy showing a picture: This is for Valentine's Day.
Boy: Umm… That's really disturbing, is it a bouquet of penises?
Girl: It's not disturbing! It's for Valentine's. (pause) Wait, did you just say “penises”?

–Tampa, Florida

Redhead: Holy shit! A penis!
Blonde: What?

–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Boots

Guy: I don't understand that song. I mean, how can hips not lie? That's like saying, “my nipples don't argue.”
Friend: Well, my cock never complains.

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Overheard by: raerae

Four-year-old boy: Wild for penis! Wild for penis! Wild for penis!

–Long Island Beach Club, Long Island, New York

Girl: Check out that guy’s package.
Guy: What?
Girl: Look at the guy in the Speedo.
Guy: No.
Girl: Just look. He’s huge.
Guy: Damn. You’re right. I’m embarrassed now. And I feel a little gay. I’m going to the bathroom.

–Tobay Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Rob

Teen girl #1: Oh my god, you can see his balls!
Teen girl #2: There’s nothing grosser than dad-balls.
Teen girl #1: Grandpa-balls!

–Stoney, Michigan

Overheard by: Waggies

20-something girl, talking about new guy she's dating: Yeah, he's kind of indie.
20-something guy: So is his dick dark brown?
20-something girl, after a long pause: Not Indian! Indie!

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Josh M.